7 Yr Old, Won't go back to school

I think that many people as adults forget how it was like when they were a child. There are some behaviors in children that adults might find bad, but there are ways of dealing with the behavior without harming the child. Sometimes adults try to make the child become someone they are not (change and fix the child), instead of seeing the child for who they really are.

Instead of supporting what the child can do, they point out everything the child cannot do. Of course that child won't know how to do everything, they're just a child. And instead of putting them down for what they can't do, take that same about of time to actually teach them something useful, instead of just yelling at them. 

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia said:

and to have something or someone at school that captures his interest (that's only at school and not at home), that makes school special, and something to look forward too. 

That's good advice. I'm just struggling to think of who/what that could be. 

Yeah, that makes sense and thanks for replying. I've wondered about the long-time off due to covid and lack of structure. 

I am now totally against harsh punishments, leaving the child, no matter what approach and them getting used to it. I couldn't see a more destructive way to bond with children at this age in hindsight. I remember ' Americans ' years ago throwing their kids into a swimming pool before they were able to walk  as some kind of trend to be copied by equally brain-dead copiers of machoism and ' what was happening '. 

There were also horrible tales of letting your own flesh and blood cry and ignore them to teach them a lesson. Just let them cry themselves out. Something no aborigine or native would dream of, ever. All of those notions i wholly object to now in hindsight.

I just wonder if the teacher/senco/assistant are trained in emotions/feelings presented by an individual ? I doubt it. Human beings are not machines that need to be fixed.   

He probably feels unsafe at school, so he attaches to his mom as a source of comfort. He won't let his mom leave so she stays with him, but she has other priorities like probably work and things like that. Attachment issues is because of the fear of abandonment, and he seems to feel like his mom is going to go away and might not return, which is a scary for any child in an uncomfortable environment.

There's a nice way to ease him into school, and it is to make him aware that he's going to be okay at school (which is an uncomfortable environment for him at the moment), that his mother is going to return, and to have something or someone at school that captures his interest (that's only at school and not at home), that makes school special, and something to look forward too. 

There's also a tough-love way to do this too, in which the parent just leaves the child at school, and the child will cry for some time, but then the parent always returns after school to pick the child up, and after several days to a week this becomes a routine, and the child just expects to go to school after awhile. This is what my parents did, but I would say that they're emotionally distant type of people, and in my opinion it's probably not the best solution, and it's better to build secure attachments and trust between parent and child. 

Wow thats sounds like a flash back to my childhood, and I was completely undiagnosed. I had the same issues but back in the 1970's you really didn't have much choice but to do what you were told. I have found that my life skills, learn't over a long time have really suffered over lockdown. Stuff that seemed so easy now seems so stressful and overwhelming. I think maybe engaging him with what ever his obsession is would be a good start, and give him time.