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Visitation for autistic father with intense anger issues

Lulu

Hi all, 

If you have seen my previous posts, you will be aware that my (undiagnosed) autistic husband has walked out on me at 22 weeks pregnant. 

I have barely heard a word from him since he left, he has not asked about how baby or the pregnancy is but has said that no matter what he wants to be part of his life.

Obviously this will mean he will have visitation.

My worry is that he turns in to a rage monster at the slightest thing and with the unpredictability of a new baby, I really worry that this would cause the violent meltdowns he has had in the past. These have historically stemmed from a sock being lost, an interruption to his gaming, and the kitten making noise on a night which resulted in the kitten being thrown down the stairs.

Due to this I am terrified of allowing him to take our baby.

He is due to be diagnosed and start receiving support from August (the month baby is due).

Has anyone had any experience of support/therapy to help with such anger poblems? Does it work? 

Parents

  •  

    Hi Plastic, Hi Michael,

    I've not explained about the extent of the physical abuse previously (and if I'm honest I still haven't examined the things he's done in full) because my intent is not to come on him to slate him, my intention is to try and figure out what is going on in his mind to cause such behaviours.

    After learning that autistic meltdowns would not excuse these behaviours, I have some serious thinking to do regarding the issues with my husband. I had hoped the family unit could be saved if only he could get help. Now I realise that even if he is autistic, this and the abusive/violent behaviour are two seperate issues and as he seems to avoid taking responsibility for these actions and also very much seems to lack remorse, it is best that I remove myself from the situation. 

    Thank you for your advice, after speaking to you I feel so much better about leaving this marriage behind me now, for the sake of mine and our child's safety x

Reply

  •  

    Hi Plastic, Hi Michael,

    I've not explained about the extent of the physical abuse previously (and if I'm honest I still haven't examined the things he's done in full) because my intent is not to come on him to slate him, my intention is to try and figure out what is going on in his mind to cause such behaviours.

    After learning that autistic meltdowns would not excuse these behaviours, I have some serious thinking to do regarding the issues with my husband. I had hoped the family unit could be saved if only he could get help. Now I realise that even if he is autistic, this and the abusive/violent behaviour are two seperate issues and as he seems to avoid taking responsibility for these actions and also very much seems to lack remorse, it is best that I remove myself from the situation. 

    Thank you for your advice, after speaking to you I feel so much better about leaving this marriage behind me now, for the sake of mine and our child's safety x

Children