• Replies 16 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 4666 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Visitation for autistic father with intense anger issues

Lulu

Hi all, 

If you have seen my previous posts, you will be aware that my (undiagnosed) autistic husband has walked out on me at 22 weeks pregnant. 

I have barely heard a word from him since he left, he has not asked about how baby or the pregnancy is but has said that no matter what he wants to be part of his life.

Obviously this will mean he will have visitation.

My worry is that he turns in to a rage monster at the slightest thing and with the unpredictability of a new baby, I really worry that this would cause the violent meltdowns he has had in the past. These have historically stemmed from a sock being lost, an interruption to his gaming, and the kitten making noise on a night which resulted in the kitten being thrown down the stairs.

Due to this I am terrified of allowing him to take our baby.

He is due to be diagnosed and start receiving support from August (the month baby is due).

Has anyone had any experience of support/therapy to help with such anger poblems? Does it work? 

Parents

  • Hi Michael,

    I understand why you find my posts confusing, as I am extremely confused about the situation myself.

    Yes my husband has been abusive, however I'm now trying to figure out if this has been down to meltdowns due to him being autistic, I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour as I have been told on this forum it is not an excuse. However I guess I'm living in hope that with an answer and a diagnosis and new understanding and support, we can get past that and learn to live in a way that avoids the meltdowns. 

    This hope comes from the fact he has not actually ended it. The last word on it is that he isn't saying he is leaving and he isn't saying he won't. I basically just have to wait for him to make a decision. This is why I am desperately trying to figure out how his mind works, because the waiting and the silence is making me ill. 

Reply

  • Hi Michael,

    I understand why you find my posts confusing, as I am extremely confused about the situation myself.

    Yes my husband has been abusive, however I'm now trying to figure out if this has been down to meltdowns due to him being autistic, I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour as I have been told on this forum it is not an excuse. However I guess I'm living in hope that with an answer and a diagnosis and new understanding and support, we can get past that and learn to live in a way that avoids the meltdowns. 

    This hope comes from the fact he has not actually ended it. The last word on it is that he isn't saying he is leaving and he isn't saying he won't. I basically just have to wait for him to make a decision. This is why I am desperately trying to figure out how his mind works, because the waiting and the silence is making me ill. 

Children
No Data