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Can sex be an obsession for autistic men?

Lulu

Hi all,

If you have seen any of my previous posts you will be aware I'm trying to make my marriage work. 

One thing that has come to light recently is the sexual urges my husband has. Like he really needs to carry out the sexual thoughts that pop in to his head, otherwise they drive him to distraction. Is this a common trait in autistic men? I'm currently trying to rebuild our marriage and have tried to spark conversation with him but he is already obsessing about sex, I've told him I would like to talk first, but he can't seem to focus on anything but sex. 

Any advice? Should I just give in and cater for his needs in hopes he will then be happy to talk/spend time with me? If I hold off is he likely to not be able to focus his mind to hold a conversation with me? 

Let me know your thoughts 

Parents

  • Generally, personally and from what I've read clinically, autistic men have a lower obsession for sex than neurotypicals.

    It's not that we don't want or enjoy a full sex life...I guess it's that it is not as high up my cerebral or to-do list as it is for non autistic men. It's not an uncontrollable primal urge, it's a nice hobby, when I'm in the mood and I have time, but it competes with my desire to read, play chess, write or contemplate a problem.

    If this does indeed hold generally true for autistic men, and I believe it does, then it sounds like your partner has other, non-autistic issues that need addressing.

  • in reply to Seanado

    Hi Seanado,

    This is what I'm trying to figure out, whether it is autism related, whether it is stemming from other issues in his past or both. 

    I have read that hypersexuality can be linked with autism and that it can involve specific paraphillic tenancies. I'm trying to work out if this is the case in my husband.

    From the responses ive had so far, it doesn't sound like it's a common issue.

  • in reply to Lulu

    I hate the word and implications of "hypersexuality" - it has no real basis and cannot be measured.     It seems to be a label to stigmatize people who want more from their sexuality.

    It's basically the opposite of calling someone frigid.

    Most people are pretty clueless about sex - just a quick bumping the uglies on a Saturday night and that it until they get bored - there's so much more available if you can get creative and know how to use the internet..     Smiley

  • in reply to Plastic

    Joy fair enough 

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