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Concerns over telling my wider family

SteveL

Hi All,

I've was diagnosed with ASD yesterday and I have informed my immediate family of the diagnosis. My brother was very supportive and understanding about the diagnosis (He is a care worker with 20 years exp in Adults with learning difficulties and dementia), however my parents were very dismissive of the diagnosis. I want to announce my diagnosis to my wider family, but I'm worried about their responses.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Parents

  • Hi Steve, I am in a similar situation. I was diagnosed a few months ago in my thirties. I decided i would tell those who most needed to know or who i wanted to know because a) i tend to bottle things up which have led to poor mentail health...if i tell people i can be more open and honest about struggles..b) my diagnosis gave me pemission to be myself more which may mean slightly different behaviours as i gradually peel away the mask.....

    I told close friends who are very open and had some good discussions with, others didn't bat an eyelid. I told my manager who was ok about it. My parents accepted me telling them but we haven't gone into any discussion since as neither of us know how to bring it up again and I made a bit of a hash of telling them. (Timing isn't my strong point). There is one thing which I didn't forsee coming and its making me think twice about who else I tell such as in laws or colleagues.

    When I told my parents, I didn't forsee having to go right back to the beginning of having to a)talk about why I sent myself for assessment and b) justify myself (against the comments of "everyone does that / is like that"). I had got over this with my partner and friends a few years ago when I first opened up discussion of possibility of being AS. I totally appreciate these comments come from a lack of understanding and outdated stereotypes.  (Another reason I want more people to know - open up a discussion about it). But I just can't face having to explain myself to every person that I tell.

    On the other hand, my partner said its probably been more of a big deal for me to tell than for others to know and its certainly felt that way in most cases. Remember, there's no rush to tell anyone. Maybe be clear about first about why you want others to know. Be prepared to explain or justify yourself.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Thanks. That's exactly how my parents reacted too. 

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