He's refusing to make a decision

First of all, if I were his parents, I would call you immediately to make sure you're OK, and parent him - he can recoup and take space but he doesn't get to stonewall you. He may not have the capacity or the language yet to communicate if his emotions are overwhelming, but he can certainly say goodnight and make sure you're safe and have all the help you need. Men do not get to knock up a woman and abandon her. That said, it sounds like he's not been well parented, but I don't know the situation. 

You need tangible, practical help right now, not further emotional drama. Pregnancy is a hard enough task to go though, modifying brain chemistry and requiring a little more financially to stay healthy. We are all responsible - autistic or not - for how we affect our significant others, for knowing where our limits are and for communication how ever we can with our partners.

That said, is he still being financially responsible toward you? Is he making sure you have practical help? If so, these are efforts that communicate he's not irresponsible, he cares, he's just well beyond his emotional limit. But you both need to grow - you'll both need to find your emotional limits and boundaries, compromise on how to get your needs met, and how to effectively work together to be a source of safety and security for your children. Taking time apart can be incredibly beneficial, so long as there is a contractual agreement of the length, some small effort to keep trust (one text per day at the same time) and that it is to be a better human FOR the other.  You have nine months to do some soul searching and character building and it sounds like you both need to take it.

That said, if you can, don't text him, text your friends, make sure your practical needs are being met, as sometimes we all need to be responsible for our own emotional well-being. So find small luxuries: Read books (Caitlin Moran has a few which are magnificent), watch whatever you want, meditate, do yoga, find your inner peace, higher self, indulge in things you enjoy and find a mentor. If it's not your mother, maybe it's a friends mother or a woman from a book club. Women have this seemingly instinctual auto-switch and can sacrifice themselves to where they loose their very soul for the man they're with. We have to enact certain disciplines to counter this until we're older and are no longer afraid to spend me-time. But if you can undergo the emotional and mental process of overcoming this fear sooner, the stronger you will be for yourself and your partner.

Sorry this is long! This is not an easy time, it's important to research how to create a safe space for you and be a safe person for the person you'd like to build a life with. It doesn't happen immediately. But if you can both at least commit to growth and to creating trust, everything else is just navigation. 

First of all, if I were his parents, I would call you immediately to make sure you're OK, and parent him - he can recoup and take space but he doesn't get to stonewall you. He may not have the capacity or the language yet to communicate if his emotions are overwhelming, but he can certainly say goodnight and make sure you're safe and have all the help you need. Men do not get to knock up a woman and abandon her. That said, it sounds like he's not been well parented, but I don't know the situation. 

You need tangible, practical help right now, not further emotional drama. Pregnancy is a hard enough task to go though, modifying brain chemistry and requiring a little more financially to stay healthy. We are all responsible - autistic or not - for how we affect our significant others, for knowing where our limits are and for communication how ever we can with our partners.

That said, is he still being financially responsible toward you? Is he making sure you have practical help? If so, these are efforts that communicate he's not irresponsible, he cares, he's just well beyond his emotional limit. But you both need to grow - you'll both need to find your emotional limits and boundaries, compromise on how to get your needs met, and how to effectively work together to be a source of safety and security for your children. Taking time apart can be incredibly beneficial, so long as there is a contractual agreement of the length, some small effort to keep trust (one text per day at the same time) and that it is to be a better human FOR the other.  You have nine months to do some soul searching and character building and it sounds like you both need to take it.

That said, if you can, don't text him, text your friends, make sure your practical needs are being met, as sometimes we all need to be responsible for our own emotional well-being. So find small luxuries: Read books (Caitlin Moran has a few which are magnificent), watch whatever you want, meditate, do yoga, find your inner peace, higher self, indulge in things you enjoy and find a mentor. If it's not your mother, maybe it's a friends mother or a woman from a book club. Women have this seemingly instinctual auto-switch and can sacrifice themselves to where they loose their very soul for the man they're with. We have to enact certain disciplines to counter this until we're older and are no longer afraid to spend me-time. But if you can undergo the emotional and mental process of overcoming this fear sooner, the stronger you will be for yourself and your partner.

Sorry this is long! This is not an easy time, it's important to research how to create a safe space for you and be a safe person for the person you'd like to build a life with. It doesn't happen immediately. But if you can both at least commit to growth and to creating trust, everything else is just navigation.