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Confused feeling my parents are getting old

Valgal

My mum and dad both live apart but still in the same town, both in there 70s.

They are both less able but not willing to accept help from outsiders.

I can not do it all, mentally and physically unable and they cant seem to grasp that.

I struggle to go out alone, im at the point im not going out at all.

Trying to hide from it all I guess and I know its not going to solve things.

No matter how hard I try and make them see there is no changing there ways.

Feeling  trapped and uneasy will life get any easier.

I dont want to come across as selfish im just scared of them getting old and I dont

know how to deal with it.

Parents

  • This is a common scenario I face as a social worker. Eventually people will reach a natural crisis point and be forced to give in to help. Sometimes family prevent that point being reached for longer than they really should and make themselves unwell in the process. My advice is to do what you can sustain, no more, and be very clear with them about what you do not have time to do. If you do things once then they will always say "you have done it before so why not now". Manage their expectations from now on and keep your boundaries. 

    Also, start having conversations now about what they would do if you weren't well enough to continue doing what you do. If you are unexpectedly ill then at least they'll have already given this some thought.

    Feel free to message me if you like but this website it useless so I may not see it to reply straight away. 

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  • This is a common scenario I face as a social worker. Eventually people will reach a natural crisis point and be forced to give in to help. Sometimes family prevent that point being reached for longer than they really should and make themselves unwell in the process. My advice is to do what you can sustain, no more, and be very clear with them about what you do not have time to do. If you do things once then they will always say "you have done it before so why not now". Manage their expectations from now on and keep your boundaries. 

    Also, start having conversations now about what they would do if you weren't well enough to continue doing what you do. If you are unexpectedly ill then at least they'll have already given this some thought.

    Feel free to message me if you like but this website it useless so I may not see it to reply straight away. 

Children
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