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Confused feeling my parents are getting old

Valgal

My mum and dad both live apart but still in the same town, both in there 70s.

They are both less able but not willing to accept help from outsiders.

I can not do it all, mentally and physically unable and they cant seem to grasp that.

I struggle to go out alone, im at the point im not going out at all.

Trying to hide from it all I guess and I know its not going to solve things.

No matter how hard I try and make them see there is no changing there ways.

Feeling  trapped and uneasy will life get any easier.

I dont want to come across as selfish im just scared of them getting old and I dont

know how to deal with it.

Parents

  • Thats unfortunate but even if your parents don't want help, eventually they’ll have to, not only is it unfair but i’d border on closer to cruel to push you so far past your limits. Taking care of people who need help is important in society but that doesn't mean completely draining yourself, doing two oerson jobs on your own, drowning in feelings of being overwhelmed where you struggle to leave the house, all in order to satisfy an unfair want. No one can require that from you. So i hope you dont feel to guilty about your feelings towards your situation as they are totally fair

    in terms of a possible solution, try to find a compromise at first. talk to your dad about part time care, maybe going to a day home, where there are nurses and older community and then coming home at night, where you may have to help him with some things but he’ll also be sleeping for a portion.  If he is unwilling to consider it and compromise then you may have no choice but to put him in a home, because it will be whats best for his saftey and well being when he is clearly not making decisions that prioritse his health, and rather just wanting to put the burden on you, who btw may have no,particular qualifications to handle older person care

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  • Thats unfortunate but even if your parents don't want help, eventually they’ll have to, not only is it unfair but i’d border on closer to cruel to push you so far past your limits. Taking care of people who need help is important in society but that doesn't mean completely draining yourself, doing two oerson jobs on your own, drowning in feelings of being overwhelmed where you struggle to leave the house, all in order to satisfy an unfair want. No one can require that from you. So i hope you dont feel to guilty about your feelings towards your situation as they are totally fair

    in terms of a possible solution, try to find a compromise at first. talk to your dad about part time care, maybe going to a day home, where there are nurses and older community and then coming home at night, where you may have to help him with some things but he’ll also be sleeping for a portion.  If he is unwilling to consider it and compromise then you may have no choice but to put him in a home, because it will be whats best for his saftey and well being when he is clearly not making decisions that prioritse his health, and rather just wanting to put the burden on you, who btw may have no,particular qualifications to handle older person care

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