Published on 12, July, 2020
I wondered wether there’s something in being on the autism spectrum and having reduced sexual desire-not come across anything in my reading yet so wondered what people’s experiences are? Oh and asking as a woman too. Thanks
There is conflicting research in this area. Some studies suggest autistic men are more likely to experience enhanced sexual desire compared to neurotypical men (using frequency of masterbation as a proxy for libido) and that for women sexual desire is about the same as neurotypicals but less often translates into a desire for sex. 10.31887/DCNS.2017.19.4/dschoettle Other studies suggest autistic people have on average less sexual desire but are more likely to experience the extremes of high or low sexual desire than neurotypicals. 10.1371/journal.pone.0087961
One study in particular suggests autistic men experience above neurotypical sexual desire and autistic women experience below neurotypical sexual desire 10.1007/s10803-019-04204-9 (behind a pay wall) However this study also reports that 44% of the autistic women in the study self identified as lesbian (much higher than the 1st study and higher than their neurotypical control). The mean age of participants was in the early 20s and recruitment was by internet adverts and ‘word of mouth.’ In short I’m not convinced their sample was representative.
More generally I’m really wary of past attempts to characterise autistic people as asexual. It’s been used to infantilise autistic people before. It also creates problems for autistic people who are highly sexual. People may erroneously assert ‘well you’re too sexual to be autistic.’ Or say ’you can’t be autistic people you have a girlfriend / boyfriend or because you go around having casual sex.’ etc. Autistic people are hugely diverse and the one thing I think I can assert is we often tend to gravitate to extremes. So I find the 2nd studies finding that autistic people are more likely to be much more or much less interested in sex to be the one that rings truest to me and my personal experience.
I think woman are generally less open about masturbation so I don't trust any research about it personally. Even with NT friendship groups it isn't a topic that we often engage in. It is more taboo than talking about sex more generally, and even topics such as miscarriages and abortion I would say from my personal experience.
Masturbation isn't something that I find easy to talk aloud about and I'm pretty rubbish at holding back opinions on most topics!
If you look through most adult toy catalogue, the vast majority of them are for women - they get all the good stuff - and probably demonstrates the demographics of the customers.
Isn't the standard joke that if you sit on your hand until it goes numb, it feels like someone else.....
It is something that I personally brought up in part of my assessment because it is certainly a go to "reliever of tension" for me, both in my childhood and as an adult. It is awkward to discuss with a stranger when speaking on the phone... easier to type. But I definitely think sexual desire and pleasure is in itself a spectrum and we all probably engage in different levels of it, whether solo or with others.
I think the female orgasm is great though personally. Big fan. I'm sure the male orgasm feels good too but less so on the receiving end... for me at least.
I think sex is pretty intimidating really but masturbation being private (for most) you can at least do the trial and error in private and the only person you will disappoint is yourself haha.
One of the very first electrical inventions was a machine for 'relieving tension'.