Should autistic people campaign for recognition as a distinct part of humanity rather than be labelled as disabled?

I remember a few weeks ago (on this very forum) when I said that I didn't consider myself disabled - just different. Last week for the first time I felt really disadvantaged and - yes - disabled. 

I'm in work and the way other people work I find absolutely chaotic - I cannot understand how anything gets done or why things are so disorganized. Everything I pick up at the moment is just trash because someone hasn't documented something, someone skipped something, or someone makes a decision when they have no idea about the thing they're deciding about - or they want something before it's ready. It's hard for me to accept that actually - that's the norm. Everywhere.

Probably the hardest thing is promotion in my organisation.The common experience is that you're dropped in there and expected to figure it out. I can't do that, unless there's a list of things I need to know/do/be aware of I won't cope. Which is the experience I had when I ditched a promotion and then spoke to other people who were having the same type of experience but were able to "hang in there". There's something about ambiguity and uncertainty that absolutely overwhelms me. And I don't mean having to know everything - but where I'm expected to do a role, and the information I need to do that role isn't cascaded, or an overview or just some kind of framework for me to organise it in my head then I'll start to unravel.

I finally accepted I won't be a leader of a team. The very idea of managing a group of people seems to me like herding cats. I could probably manage a team meeting (agenda, things to go through and discuss) and monthly check-ins (just) but all the other stuff that comes in with managing people - absolutely not. I also struggle to generalise. I need to "see" a job and understand it before I feel able to apply for it - because in many cases what I see in a job description, I've learned, is nothing like what the actual role will be. 

These problems aren't insurmountable - and there's things I'm doing to find a way forward (more job shadowing for example). Ideally I refer to myself as neurodiverse a lot of the time - and yes, I do see things differently. But there's times when I really do feel disabled. Where that inability to read people, or understand all those unwritten rules that everyone just "gets" and knowing what motivates/influences individuals, and that some people will drive chaos for others and not really give a stuff about it - even though they should - it's like being asked to win at a game when you don't know the rules. When I sit back and watch a group discussion as an observer I can see how the interactions work but to be in and part of it - I'm really struggling.

Personally I go through stages of acceptance and extreme frustration. Someone said to me today that "I'd have to move out of my comfort zone sometimes" - not understanding that I've been doing that pretty much every day for the last 40 odd years just by having to deal with people. 

I can't get excited about a disabled moniker - as long as no-one uses it to put me in a box. But if more people recognise the condition and can think of creative ways to support those of us on the spectrum (as I support NT's when I'm coaching them on various work stuff to up-skill them and make their lives easier) than that I can get excited about. 

I remember a few weeks ago (on this very forum) when I said that I didn't consider myself disabled - just different. Last week for the first time I felt really disadvantaged and - yes - disabled. 

I'm in work and the way other people work I find absolutely chaotic - I cannot understand how anything gets done or why things are so disorganized. Everything I pick up at the moment is just trash because someone hasn't documented something, someone skipped something, or someone makes a decision when they have no idea about the thing they're deciding about - or they want something before it's ready. It's hard for me to accept that actually - that's the norm. Everywhere.

Probably the hardest thing is promotion in my organisation.The common experience is that you're dropped in there and expected to figure it out. I can't do that, unless there's a list of things I need to know/do/be aware of I won't cope. Which is the experience I had when I ditched a promotion and then spoke to other people who were having the same type of experience but were able to "hang in there". There's something about ambiguity and uncertainty that absolutely overwhelms me. And I don't mean having to know everything - but where I'm expected to do a role, and the information I need to do that role isn't cascaded, or an overview or just some kind of framework for me to organise it in my head then I'll start to unravel.

I finally accepted I won't be a leader of a team. The very idea of managing a group of people seems to me like herding cats. I could probably manage a team meeting (agenda, things to go through and discuss) and monthly check-ins (just) but all the other stuff that comes in with managing people - absolutely not. I also struggle to generalise. I need to "see" a job and understand it before I feel able to apply for it - because in many cases what I see in a job description, I've learned, is nothing like what the actual role will be. 

These problems aren't insurmountable - and there's things I'm doing to find a way forward (more job shadowing for example). Ideally I refer to myself as neurodiverse a lot of the time - and yes, I do see things differently. But there's times when I really do feel disabled. Where that inability to read people, or understand all those unwritten rules that everyone just "gets" and knowing what motivates/influences individuals, and that some people will drive chaos for others and not really give a stuff about it - even though they should - it's like being asked to win at a game when you don't know the rules. When I sit back and watch a group discussion as an observer I can see how the interactions work but to be in and part of it - I'm really struggling.

Personally I go through stages of acceptance and extreme frustration. Someone said to me today that "I'd have to move out of my comfort zone sometimes" - not understanding that I've been doing that pretty much every day for the last 40 odd years just by having to deal with people. 

I can't get excited about a disabled moniker - as long as no-one uses it to put me in a box. But if more people recognise the condition and can think of creative ways to support those of us on the spectrum (as I support NT's when I'm coaching them on various work stuff to up-skill them and make their lives easier) than that I can get excited about. 

Sounds to me like you are being force to follow the work customs of NT people. This to me just reaffirms my point in a certain specific scenario. Instead of you saying this is how I work and this is how they work and they are fundamentally different because we are fundamentally different types of people, you are looking at it like you  cannot conform to the "normal" status quo and so that means your disabled. It does not. This is a large part of the problem that I am getting at.