• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 2460 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Autistic partner

NAS71896

Hi all, I just really need some advice I have been with my partner for 9 months and they have been diagnosed officially as being autistic. I have no issue with him being autistic at all is the associated behaviour that goes with it..

I have had to change a lot of my habits to accommodate theirs, as they have rituals and only do things a certain way. They constantly put down my son because he is a very sensitive child as he lives with me full time. I have suffered from depression for over 15 years and this is constantly threw in my face that my depression is the fault of everything ( I had been off all medications before I met them even after my mum passing away 9 months previous) they constantly talk down to me and make me constantly apologise because my depression is that bad and that I bring it all on myself. 

I am currently on a rota of nights as a key worker and I suffer from insomnia at times and all I get if I say  if I’m tired is “you’ve been in bed all day.. get up and do something” and that tiredness will not be accepted as an excuse 

this is part of a message I received 

I'm planning ways to actively avoid time around you as..I'd love to do something for you on Mother's day but the way I've been made feel make that impossible and I went out of my way to make sure I won't be seeing you.. But we aren't and that's difficult cause I want to help but I can't because I don't feel you deserve it which is bad. But she's never treated me the way you have and boy did me and her have issues

i feel like I’m constantly being punished and put down and called names like stupid/idiot etc or compared to ex partners and I don’t know if this is part of being autistic or not but I’m at the end of the line and I can’t cope anymore 

I just need advice on if this is a normal occurrence 

Parents

  • Just because hes autistic doesn't exclude him having other conditions too. He could be narcissistic, antisocial or something else. Apart from autistic psychopaths, autistic people in general I would say are very good people and would never hurt or abuse anyone else. If they did anything its usually in retaliation.  So in short, your boyfriend might have some other condition/trait that is making him mistreat you. Don't blame it on autism. 

  • in reply to NAS71674

    can you get a autistic psychopath? , psychopaths have excellent cognitive empathy but no social empathy .That is the opposite of autistic people.  

  • in reply to mael

    Apparently you can. Hitler, Anders Brevik have all been cited as possible examples. I'm not 100% sure if its universally adopted but I believe there are clinicians who think along those lines. 

  • in reply to mael

    Yes thats very interesting. Have you seen the ted talk on the standford experiment by philip zimbardo? Very interesting if you want a deeper look at the concept of evil. I am autistic and we are generally very good law abiding people. I am just trying to say to the person who started this thread that if someone has autism it doesn't exclude everything else.

  • in reply to NAS71674

    I suppose it is depending on wide you diagnose autism and psychopathy. i was reading a paper on a study of  psychopathy using fmri on convicted American murders ,and they found  different brain patterns in several areas mainly the amygdala. They were able to detect a psychopathy by these patterns and use this as evidence in trails .[ As a defence against the death penalty]

Reply
  • in reply to NAS71674

    I suppose it is depending on wide you diagnose autism and psychopathy. i was reading a paper on a study of  psychopathy using fmri on convicted American murders ,and they found  different brain patterns in several areas mainly the amygdala. They were able to detect a psychopathy by these patterns and use this as evidence in trails .[ As a defence against the death penalty]

Children
  • in reply to mael

    Yes thats very interesting. Have you seen the ted talk on the standford experiment by philip zimbardo? Very interesting if you want a deeper look at the concept of evil. I am autistic and we are generally very good law abiding people. I am just trying to say to the person who started this thread that if someone has autism it doesn't exclude everything else.