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Doubting Myself/Identity Crisis

Jess

Hello,

my question is... do other people’s comments saying you’re not autistic affect your confidence ? Do you ever feel not autistic enough?

I am a 24 year old Female living in Kent. I Was diagnosed 2 years ago with level 1 autism spectrum disorder (I was in a fortunate enough position to be able to pay and go private) and for me it was a sigh of relief to have finally found what was ‘wrong’ with me. My partner and my parents also felt that it just made sense.

I had a therapist recently who really picked on me for my diagnosis and he made me feel bad for paying to go private and basically felt that I was a liar and asked to see my diagnosis report... this still really bothers me and it’s completely knocked my confidence when it comes to talking about my personal autistic experience. 

Ive masked pretty much my whole life (sometimes I even wonder who I am lol) and I don’t ‘look’ autistic whatever the hell that means, I have a good job, boyfriend and a friend...

has anyone else experienced something similar ? 

Parents

  • A guideline I used to follow in my late 20s was to ask myself does this Help/Heal or Hurt/Hinder. 

    With those who Identify as Males, I would say "You are not helping". With Females, "This doesn't help me". This is a system of communication I learned from psychology. Males tend to (not always) externalise and Females internalise (again, not always). And so it would follow the other would be able to receive the information I was conveying. 

    It's OK not to know why. But this is one of the best ways I found to help establish personal agency and kind boundaries. 

    In this case, a therapist is defined as someone who helps. If they don't, I'd get a referral to another one.

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  • A guideline I used to follow in my late 20s was to ask myself does this Help/Heal or Hurt/Hinder. 

    With those who Identify as Males, I would say "You are not helping". With Females, "This doesn't help me". This is a system of communication I learned from psychology. Males tend to (not always) externalise and Females internalise (again, not always). And so it would follow the other would be able to receive the information I was conveying. 

    It's OK not to know why. But this is one of the best ways I found to help establish personal agency and kind boundaries. 

    In this case, a therapist is defined as someone who helps. If they don't, I'd get a referral to another one.

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