Help

Thanks for the advice. I tried apologising to her yesterday and got told it was too late she would never trust me again and I should move out. I wish I knew what other things could be up with her but she's point black refusing to speak to me and if I enter a room she leaves. Its killing me to think I've hurt her so much

If that's the case then I would say that it sounds more and more like the root of her reaction is elsewhere. I would suggest you try and reassure her, apologise for inadvertently misleading her (though you can also be clear that you genuinely thought she knew and you weren't trying to deceive her in any way) and maybe look out for other things in her life that could be causing her to feel sensitive or scared or insecure right now.

I could have sworn we'd spoke about it b4 I booked it even my daughter said the same thing. She knows everything about me and my past I've never hidden anything from her. It was only yesterday when me and my Daughter were talking about different places there that it came up in conversation and my partner totally lost it saying I'd deceived her and who in their right mind would go somewhere they had been with an ex

Some people get very strange about the life you had before you let them. Its not something that's ever concerned me. I know my husband had a life and other partners before he met me and that's fine. Has your wife been sensitive about events/places related to your ex before?

Also, did she find out the connection after or during the trip? Maybe she'd have been more ok with it if she'd known before? I would suggest trying to explain to your wife that you booked that destination because you were thinking of her, not your ex, and that you didn't mention the previous trip because that past relationship isn't something that matters or that you think about anymore, which is why you didn't think to mention it (assuming that's the case, of course).

It sounds like your wife is feeling a little insecure at the moment. Do you know of anything that stressing her out or may have knocked her confidence? It might not necessarily be to do with you or your relationship, but the results could show up there.

How and when did she find out that you’d been before? Sounds like she’s only recently become upset even though you went last year? I know that people do seem to get insecure or jealous when it comes to exes but I ‘m not sure I really understand why. I think she needs to explain to you exactly why she’s upset when she’s calmed down so you can know exactly what’s going on. As you’ve been together a long time she probably assumes that you know how she thinks. I still have to remind my husband he needs to be blunt at times otherwise I won’t have a clue what he’s thinking/feeling

i would leave your partner for a week or so if that is possible. Just to get space between you two for a while. It usually helps. 

This is exactly what I said but its only made things worse. I don't get why the past has to be relevant now to some people. Why can't they just let it be in the past

then it is petty. Are you allowed to walk down the streets your ex walked along, how far does this go ?

no I wish there was. It would make it easier to understand. I just don't understand it because I've never thought about past relationships once they're over its like they didn't exist

thats petty, there must be something else that kicked this all off