Struggling with creating daily life timetables and becoming overwhelmed

DaveAspergI have tried online computer diaries but they never work as well. I think I prefer physical write things down. 

I will consider this @Loz

I like the sound of this ideawhatnots2015 as I find end up trying to fit so much into one day or to be unrealistic in one week.

It is okay that it really long post, its given me lots to consider @David

Thank you Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Thank you @out_of_step

Thank you for suggestion @NAS71432

Plan everything on Google calendar, its what I do. Then you can forget about it cos you'll get reminders pop up.

I have a few to do lists on the go but am often looking around for the notepad as it's misplaced. I bought a whiteboard but forget to look at it. I think my main problem is remembering to look at my lists, calendar, whiteboard etc.

I prefer to use tangible items like a pen instead of a screen. I used to set reminders all the time in my phone but don't have a smartphone now. I became too reliant on it.

One thing which helps, say for example if I'm going to sleep and suddenly think of something I have to remember in the morning, and cant write it down, is to associate the thing with a random object. Like in the morning, there's something I need to remember, so I said to myself "kettle...click, (thing I need to remember). When I click the kettle I'll remember (the thing)." It's worked before with random things like when I peel my banana or switch the shower on.  I know this doesn't help with general day to day life but it's a little something which works for me.

I just have guidelines for myself that's not based on timetables and schedules. Like when I'm using the microwave (whenever that will be), and I have a few minutes, I'll wash dishes while I wait. And when I wake up (whenever that will be), I do stretches and exercise. I know that I'll wake up (well hopefully I will), and I know that I will use the microwave, so I'll attach a thing to do that I don't like doing to them, so I'll end up doing them. Otherwise, they day gets too stressful if I rigidly plan every single hour of every single day. 

Hello Rainbowgirl.  I can sympathize very much on this issue.  I used to miss a LOT of appointments and those I managed to keep typically had me climbing the walls. I could not stop thinking about when and where I would have to be.  Before I was put on a disability pension it was my job seeking obligations that I was required to attend, make and keep in order to receive money to pay rent and eat. If I missed too many appointments I faced having my welfare payments cut.  This was a huge anxiety for me.

Writing things down never seemed to work for me as I was always losing the bits of paper and even when I used a diary, I found that hard to keep in routine. I even had issues with appointments I myself had chosen to make.  

I don't see ASD as the sole reason but since understanding the symptoms and traits within ASD I have found it easier to keep my appointments now because I now know why I was stressing so much.  

NUMBER ONE.  Sound Prompts! - Alarm! 
 
Smart Phone! Enter SPlanner.  It was not easy at first.  I do not like filling in forms at all. Having to input information on a phone was just as hard but did get easier as I practiced doing it more.  Once I realized how less stressful it was to have my phone remind me with either a buzzing motion in my pocket or a sound alarm, that gave me the desire to keep using my phone.  I am super sensitive to the type of alarm and also volume depending on where I am.  Eventually I worked out how to change those settings so my reminders are non-invasive.  Using my phone also allows me to be reminded the day before and at several other intervals which I always use.  I even now put in additional info where once before I would be triggered even thinking about doing such a thing.

NUMBER TWO. Try harder to make the effort with appointments you have no choice of keeping. 
Accountability!  Holding myself accountable.

I tend to find the appointments we are obligated to attend but really don't want to are the ones I miss the most if I don't make the effort to log it in my phone.  Regardless of consequences I used to miss these not just because of a diagnosed label but because I chose not to input the data or care enough to make any kind of effort.  Sure, there are symptoms and traits I have that make it difficult but that is not enough to make me not accountable.  Of course this is just my view and not saying anyone else needs to adopt taking responsibility.  It's just that when finding a method or tool that can in fact help overcome the challengers and obstacles within whatever label (I have many to choose from) I choose to view it as irresponsible not to take ownership now knowing I could keep appointments with said tool but still not use them.  In that light I will even subscribe myself to being lazy.  At least it's me telling myself that and no one else.  God Forbid. lol  Mindset is everything.  I could keep using the calling card of all my prescribed labels but know it's the doing in that rather than the labels.

Mind Set!  - Procrastination is rife in my life still, yet its only when I accept the traits for what they are that I can tackle them.  That said I use my good traits too.  Basically, I would suggest try and get to know yourself more and be honest in that assessment. Discipline I know I can do from past efforts which have brought me great rewards.  Yet the various symptoms within the spectrum spawn from whatever traits make for an episodic nature.  Cycles of Up and Done.  Cycles of high performance, Low performance.   

STRUCTURE:
So it is the dynamics can vary and an understanding of that helps me understand that whilst I thrive in a structured environment I still struggle at the same time.  That struggle be between procrastination/desire and self-discipline/worth.  
__________________________

There as no short answers for me. Thanks for the question.  It actually comes at a good time as I am working hard on regaining my physical health. This requires a LOT of structure and I am finding it hard.  Each morning walk and workout there after is best done at the same times as well as my eating.  If I miss one of these things I can easily give up.  Either slowly or suddenly.  As well as trying to keep my times in sync - I have many appointments with support workers, doctors, therapist and so on.  It's not for everyone but I am an individual that does well with support and I do have many.

In order to make it all work I would be lost without my phone.  I have to be honest though and let you know I kind of HATE my phone and resent it at times, yet it all comes down to my mindset which I kind of touched on.  The tool is no good without the right mindset is all.

My latest upgrade in tools given I am struggling with having to drag my phone around everywhere it to get a standalone smart watch with it's own sim card.  A lot of my sensory and memory issues with carrying a phone and the noise it makes can be overcome with the convivence of easier transport.  

Sensory & Memory Issues + 'Carrying' The Phone / Brick
Selective memory triggered by anxiety and other related memory issues actually means that I often lose and forget to take my phone with me.  Having a device on my wrist Vs a big Chunky one in my pocket (YUK!) & or permanently attached to many hand is no brainer for me.  I hate not having free hands.  The phone my have Bluetooth but I still end up with a chunky phone in my hand as I rarely use pockets as I struggle with bulky objects in them.  I used to ware a watch all the time before smart phones where even a thing.  There are many soft bands to select from I would be be rather selective re my sensitivity issues re finding an ergonomic watch.

None Invasive Alarm Prompts:
Whilst I have become reliant on my phones alarms and have many different ones to choose from with adjustable levels, Over time I have developed anxiety from the constant notifications.  Whilst the answer may be to reduce the amount of notifications I have found using the vibration feature helps to reduce the anxiety however I can't stand having to ware the phone in my pockets as it just feels hot, sweaty and claustrophobic pressing up against my skin. It also drags my pants/light weight shorts down as well.  I walk briskly from place to place and that just seems to make it worse carry thing like that in my pocket.  So it is that I have struggles with the notifications having to be turned all the way up.  I also struggle with hearing tones which means I generally have to turn the sound all the way up. 

So it is that having the ability for a small device to simply give me un-intrusive buzz alerts on my writs - would very well go a long way to alleviate the anxiety of my current notifications. 

Additional notes* re Standalone Smart Watch.  Choosing smaller watch not an issue for inputting information as can be done at home via phone as per usual and then ported across into SPlanner.  Phone can still be left at home and written appointment cards handed over by supports, doctors and therapists as usual and then input when at home as I normally do.  

A smart watch the requires connection to phone in order to sync to the internet defeats the purpose.  Standalone Phone is the only option for me.

______________________________________________________________

Sorry for wall of text.  Getting a stand alone smart watch would really be helpful for me.  I am going to use this information to apply for assisted technology as it was in fact mentioned to me by my disability planner.  I have many so man appointments to keep and whilst it can get frustrating at times I choose to keep them because of the supports I get in return.  Using SPlanner on my phone has definitely helped and without it I would be complete lost.

I have just decided now that I am going to get myself a stand alone smart watch.  Subsidized or not.

Thanks for the post.  Hope some of mine as helped.  It has certainly helped me.

Now ... onto my next appointment! 

I sometimes feel that I try to do too much and that's why my planners, routines etc have all not meant that I'm better organised. These days I just jot down the times I spend at work and volunteering and the rest of the time I try to just do fun stuff. I recently got married and moved in with my spouse and we're trying to work out housework but we just have a day to do certain things, like bin day on Wednesday and laundry day on Friday, so not too specific. And I try not to get too worked up about the stuff that I haven't done :-) but sometimes I do feel a bit overwhelmed.

I find the computer based diaries do not synchronise well and so a wall calendar in the kitchen is excellent to write things on

I felt that way when I heard it! Very glad to have passed it along  

I make detailed plans, plan my plans, add sub-categories and then plan those. I get so focused on planning that nothing gets done, then I get super stressed that I failed, and repeat the process again.

"Creating the day you're willing to have" is the best advice I've heard. Thank you!

with a cup of tea ( important ), each day I make a list and then add priorities. I then do the high priorities first. I dont worry whether or not I complete the list. Anything  left I'll consider tomorrow.

Hi, I can relate to this, I've had different planners and timetables over the years, and it's been a journey of discovery. I sometimes structured it too rigidly, and it wouldn't work because I’d feel guilty for failing to keep it up and then stop. I heard some advice along the lines of, try to create the day you’re willing to have rather than the one you'd be forcing yourself to have. It's now something that's more like a safety net to fall back on and makes sure I meet responsibilities but also gives enough room for mistakes, growth and the option for changing the timetable, so it feels supportive rather than dictatorial.

This year, I've started to keep a bullet journal. It was created by Ryde Carroll. I got his book, but there is also a big online community. You can find them on you tube amongst others. Ignore the fact that many of them have loads of fancy art things and focus on adding the important information that works for you. You can make it pretty if you want to, but if you spend time on making it fancy, you'll lose interest. I used to have a load of diaries, calendars and half written notebooks that got used briefly and then ignored. I like this because it uses a notebook and even though I started doing it a certain way in January, I'm still able to change it as I figure out the bits that work, and the bits that don't.