PTSD?

I got a diagnosis of high functioning autism at 17 (got taken to a psychiatrist and didn’t have a clue why I was there and found it hard to think of an answer when he did ask if I knew. I said “it may be because I don’t have any friends” after thinking, not really realising I could have actually just said “no”. In fact at that time I didn’t even care about not having friends, my mum was more concerned about that than I was).

I didn’t actually get told until I was 27 or 28, though, and finding out felt like mostly a relief but I’ve always had doubts too, especially now - I’ve been seeing a counsellor for 3 months (for what I thought were attachment issues, but now she’s thinking it’s PTSD, with roots in early childhood, adoptive family dynamics and school bullying etc). She agreed with the autism diagnosis initially, and has aspie family members so I think she would know, but she reneged on it last week after I asked the difference between concrete and abstract concepts, and I could understand both. She also said I was good at displaying empathy (hasn’t always been the case, sometimes I’ve just felt really awkward and said nothing, but I guess everyone does that at times). 

So now I’m just confused, thinking maybe she’s right, but there are things others on the spectrum have talked about that I relate to, or used to - e.g obsessive interests (horses, riding, drawing, cross stitch, a certain singer - I still have a stack of pages I printed off the internet about him in college that’s about an inch thick and there were more lol. This isn’t someone most people I knew would have described as attractive or even a good singer, either, but I adored him for years. I dropped 3 of these interests because I suddenly didn’t want to do them any more and it got painful to force myself to try and carry on. The singer I rarely listen to now but when I do I still get great pleasure from it). I had a couple of sensory issues as a young child - hated wearing jeans because of how they felt/sounded when I walked, that went away by first school though, and I hated fireworks and very loud bangs until around middle school. Don’t have a huge urge to socialise, been “praised” and complained about for being a quiet person most of my life.
I’ve also got moderate to high scores on the self diagnostic tests, including 8/10 on the EQ. 
I get these things don’t necessarily mean autism, and PTSD can/does coexist with it, but it’s hard to disentangle them. I was ok at first but now I’m wishing I could just know definitively. It sounds like the adult assessments are hit and miss, though, so I still might be left without a real answer. 

Has anyone else been through similar? What did you do? I don’t mind being told I’m overthinking this and it’s more likely just trauma, rather than trauma and autism. 

Parents
  • No this is quite common with individuals who appear to relatively functioning by which i mean are verbal and have developed behaviours not skills like Masking, Camouflaging and False Assimilating as a defense mechanism .Your councillor may have a bias on what she believes is autism spectrum disorder is because of her relative and the facts are that autism spectrum disorder does not manifest in the same way in everyone and individuals with autism and co occurring disorder such as ADHD are going to manifest autism related traits in non typical ways because of the co occurring disorder.

    Having Autism can make you predisposed to developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder along with other mental health conditions like depression and anxiety and it's very unusual for someone to have sensory processing disorder on it own without having either ADHD or autism. 

    Many people on the autism experience empathy and have the ability to empathise we are not psychopaths. what makes you autistic is how your brain processes and interprets others people expressions of verbal and nonverbal communication.

    Non autistic have a pre programmed "theory of mind"  that instinctively allow them to pick up and process indirect language such as body language. because most non autistic have the same very similar thought processes this allow them to interpret that information in a similar way and act on them. In autistic individuals the "theory of mind" exists but doesn't operate in similar way to those who are not autistic. It is very uncommon for autistic individuals to have similar  thought process that allow them to have same understanding in which i mean two individuals understanding of the "theory of mind" can be very different.

    individuals with autism can develop the skill to empathise but it usually only occurs because the individuals on the autism spectrum has experienced something similar first hand or have been through the exact same situation. 

    Yes the professional who diagnosed me had a really rough time diagnosing me through multiple sessions and had discuss my case with multiple professionals who eventually agreed that i had autism but need to be assessed for ADHD as these two disorder where more than likely the cause of my behaviour as a child and the partially the cause of me Developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a child because of my parents denial of me having something like ADHD and autism and being unfairly and cruelly disciplined for behaviours i could not control. It doesn't help that my mother and step dad listen to other people's parents and performed home style cure for autism on me.       

Reply
  • No this is quite common with individuals who appear to relatively functioning by which i mean are verbal and have developed behaviours not skills like Masking, Camouflaging and False Assimilating as a defense mechanism .Your councillor may have a bias on what she believes is autism spectrum disorder is because of her relative and the facts are that autism spectrum disorder does not manifest in the same way in everyone and individuals with autism and co occurring disorder such as ADHD are going to manifest autism related traits in non typical ways because of the co occurring disorder.

    Having Autism can make you predisposed to developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder along with other mental health conditions like depression and anxiety and it's very unusual for someone to have sensory processing disorder on it own without having either ADHD or autism. 

    Many people on the autism experience empathy and have the ability to empathise we are not psychopaths. what makes you autistic is how your brain processes and interprets others people expressions of verbal and nonverbal communication.

    Non autistic have a pre programmed "theory of mind"  that instinctively allow them to pick up and process indirect language such as body language. because most non autistic have the same very similar thought processes this allow them to interpret that information in a similar way and act on them. In autistic individuals the "theory of mind" exists but doesn't operate in similar way to those who are not autistic. It is very uncommon for autistic individuals to have similar  thought process that allow them to have same understanding in which i mean two individuals understanding of the "theory of mind" can be very different.

    individuals with autism can develop the skill to empathise but it usually only occurs because the individuals on the autism spectrum has experienced something similar first hand or have been through the exact same situation. 

    Yes the professional who diagnosed me had a really rough time diagnosing me through multiple sessions and had discuss my case with multiple professionals who eventually agreed that i had autism but need to be assessed for ADHD as these two disorder where more than likely the cause of my behaviour as a child and the partially the cause of me Developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a child because of my parents denial of me having something like ADHD and autism and being unfairly and cruelly disciplined for behaviours i could not control. It doesn't help that my mother and step dad listen to other people's parents and performed home style cure for autism on me.       

Children
  • Ah yeah, my therapist mentioned that it was her past experience of autists that probably caused her to miss mine, as well as the fact that my childhood experiences would have been enough alone to make me an extreme avoidant attachment person.

    And that's an interesting point about only doing empathy if you've had a similar experience. It resonates. And I forget, I probably do sympathy but call it empathy, and prob rely on past experiences to do that too. It's trickyy to unpick cos I don't know what normal is supposed to actually be like.