PTSD?

I got a diagnosis of high functioning autism at 17 (got taken to a psychiatrist and didn’t have a clue why I was there and found it hard to think of an answer when he did ask if I knew. I said “it may be because I don’t have any friends” after thinking, not really realising I could have actually just said “no”. In fact at that time I didn’t even care about not having friends, my mum was more concerned about that than I was).

I didn’t actually get told until I was 27 or 28, though, and finding out felt like mostly a relief but I’ve always had doubts too, especially now - I’ve been seeing a counsellor for 3 months (for what I thought were attachment issues, but now she’s thinking it’s PTSD, with roots in early childhood, adoptive family dynamics and school bullying etc). She agreed with the autism diagnosis initially, and has aspie family members so I think she would know, but she reneged on it last week after I asked the difference between concrete and abstract concepts, and I could understand both. She also said I was good at displaying empathy (hasn’t always been the case, sometimes I’ve just felt really awkward and said nothing, but I guess everyone does that at times). 

So now I’m just confused, thinking maybe she’s right, but there are things others on the spectrum have talked about that I relate to, or used to - e.g obsessive interests (horses, riding, drawing, cross stitch, a certain singer - I still have a stack of pages I printed off the internet about him in college that’s about an inch thick and there were more lol. This isn’t someone most people I knew would have described as attractive or even a good singer, either, but I adored him for years. I dropped 3 of these interests because I suddenly didn’t want to do them any more and it got painful to force myself to try and carry on. The singer I rarely listen to now but when I do I still get great pleasure from it). I had a couple of sensory issues as a young child - hated wearing jeans because of how they felt/sounded when I walked, that went away by first school though, and I hated fireworks and very loud bangs until around middle school. Don’t have a huge urge to socialise, been “praised” and complained about for being a quiet person most of my life.
I’ve also got moderate to high scores on the self diagnostic tests, including 8/10 on the EQ. 
I get these things don’t necessarily mean autism, and PTSD can/does coexist with it, but it’s hard to disentangle them. I was ok at first but now I’m wishing I could just know definitively. It sounds like the adult assessments are hit and miss, though, so I still might be left without a real answer. 

Has anyone else been through similar? What did you do? I don’t mind being told I’m overthinking this and it’s more likely just trauma, rather than trauma and autism. 

Parents
  • Hi NAS71595, I feel the for confusion and sorry your feeling that way. The fact your asking about it shows strength on your part.  Whilst it is good to have an advocate in family I think what matters most, is what you think about yourself. It is easy for advocates and peers to get also get confused when identifying symptoms from more than one label/condition/diagnosis. Despite our perceived level of understanding as others may think of us, no one knows us better than our self.  

    It's not uncommon for many individuals to have multiple labels that intersect each other such as PTSD & ASD.  The list is actually extensive.  

    Mark makes some really great points.  That was a good read.  My first post here was on the topic of multiple complex diagnoses.  Many people have more than one condition.  People in general are complex beings and rarely can be boxed into one label.  This is why the system continues to reassess as children get older and or time and events pass for those much older.  Whilst some conditions are deemed permanent nothing stays the same.  Think of the labels such as ASD - PTSD - GAD - and so on as no more than the names of suburbs within a big city called 'Health & Wellbeing'  Let's break it down more by attributing all the streets within each suburb with symptoms so that we end up with Nervousness St, Agitation St, Hyper St, Sensitive St, Sad St, Angry St, Confusion St.  We can put in parks that are also referred to as disorders such as the well known Depression Park.  The longer you stay at it the more likely council will be to come along with another sign called 'Clinical'  Let's not forget an even more famous Park called Anxiety.

    It's easy to get lost in the City regardless of what part of it we identify with.  In fact the identification process is very much the part many of us struggle with.  Felling lost and alone in all that confusion it's only natural to want stay in one area where we feel less vulnerable and things are seemingly familiar.  The trouble with that is we become bogged down with limited mindsets.  May as well set up camp at Agoraphobic Park! 

    All the above is my attempt to unravel the Signpost Analogy. My experience is that in order not to get lost in the bigger picture or scheme of things is not to identify with prescribed or proposed labels like how we do with Sport teams, Flags, Cities, right down to the Clothes, Car, Bicycle or type of Phone one attribute themselves too.  You see the other side of the coin to all this is that many of these labels have become no more than accessories themselves in a sea of commodities/industry. Whilst that is another story in itself my point here is the two fold.  We now live in a society that fashions labels like clothes with an inherent need to favor one over the other.  The latter playing more to our competitive conditioning. Always competing.

    Hence this is why many of us find ourselves struggling with more than one label. It's not understanding that the labels themselves are no more than guides within a bigger picture which leads people to becoming bound and subject to their labels.  I'm this! I'm That!  No you can't be...!  ... and thus the confusion reigns from there.  However, the more mindful we become of how easily we ourselves struggle with attachment issues, but more over, how that in itself leads to such a strong desire in wanting to belong with either one or the other and that being the case as much with our prescribed/proposed diagnoses just as it is with our advocates, family and peers. 

    Life is complex. People are complex.  Take it from this Chronic Complex Case of whatever with a dash of yadda yadda.  The (Not MY) autism label recently attributed to me has greatly assisted me to find my way through that above City  - yet it's only one part of the landscape. 

    In reference to finding a concrete answer. Whilst there can be undisputed facts, I tend to accept the reality that there are often no concrete answers.  At least I find life offers a lot more breathing space if I leave doors open.  

    I hope some of the above helps.



Reply
  • Hi NAS71595, I feel the for confusion and sorry your feeling that way. The fact your asking about it shows strength on your part.  Whilst it is good to have an advocate in family I think what matters most, is what you think about yourself. It is easy for advocates and peers to get also get confused when identifying symptoms from more than one label/condition/diagnosis. Despite our perceived level of understanding as others may think of us, no one knows us better than our self.  

    It's not uncommon for many individuals to have multiple labels that intersect each other such as PTSD & ASD.  The list is actually extensive.  

    Mark makes some really great points.  That was a good read.  My first post here was on the topic of multiple complex diagnoses.  Many people have more than one condition.  People in general are complex beings and rarely can be boxed into one label.  This is why the system continues to reassess as children get older and or time and events pass for those much older.  Whilst some conditions are deemed permanent nothing stays the same.  Think of the labels such as ASD - PTSD - GAD - and so on as no more than the names of suburbs within a big city called 'Health & Wellbeing'  Let's break it down more by attributing all the streets within each suburb with symptoms so that we end up with Nervousness St, Agitation St, Hyper St, Sensitive St, Sad St, Angry St, Confusion St.  We can put in parks that are also referred to as disorders such as the well known Depression Park.  The longer you stay at it the more likely council will be to come along with another sign called 'Clinical'  Let's not forget an even more famous Park called Anxiety.

    It's easy to get lost in the City regardless of what part of it we identify with.  In fact the identification process is very much the part many of us struggle with.  Felling lost and alone in all that confusion it's only natural to want stay in one area where we feel less vulnerable and things are seemingly familiar.  The trouble with that is we become bogged down with limited mindsets.  May as well set up camp at Agoraphobic Park! 

    All the above is my attempt to unravel the Signpost Analogy. My experience is that in order not to get lost in the bigger picture or scheme of things is not to identify with prescribed or proposed labels like how we do with Sport teams, Flags, Cities, right down to the Clothes, Car, Bicycle or type of Phone one attribute themselves too.  You see the other side of the coin to all this is that many of these labels have become no more than accessories themselves in a sea of commodities/industry. Whilst that is another story in itself my point here is the two fold.  We now live in a society that fashions labels like clothes with an inherent need to favor one over the other.  The latter playing more to our competitive conditioning. Always competing.

    Hence this is why many of us find ourselves struggling with more than one label. It's not understanding that the labels themselves are no more than guides within a bigger picture which leads people to becoming bound and subject to their labels.  I'm this! I'm That!  No you can't be...!  ... and thus the confusion reigns from there.  However, the more mindful we become of how easily we ourselves struggle with attachment issues, but more over, how that in itself leads to such a strong desire in wanting to belong with either one or the other and that being the case as much with our prescribed/proposed diagnoses just as it is with our advocates, family and peers. 

    Life is complex. People are complex.  Take it from this Chronic Complex Case of whatever with a dash of yadda yadda.  The (Not MY) autism label recently attributed to me has greatly assisted me to find my way through that above City  - yet it's only one part of the landscape. 

    In reference to finding a concrete answer. Whilst there can be undisputed facts, I tend to accept the reality that there are often no concrete answers.  At least I find life offers a lot more breathing space if I leave doors open.  

    I hope some of the above helps.



Children