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There's a special interest shaped hole in my life

Dormouse

One of the best things about autism is the special interests right? It's what motivates us to work for hours despite comorbid learning difficulties, it's what provides us with a value to employers that outweighs our weaknesses, it's what gives us our identity, happiness and purpose... and I haven't had one for years. I suffered a huge burnout and was kicked off my chemistry degree in 2013. I used to be so into it that I got 5 A*s and a place at Oxford from a bad state school with totally undiagnosed autism, dyslexia and ADHD. Since being kicked out I tried to self-study, I applied to other unis and I did Open Uni modules but the harder I tried the more demoralised I got. I've made a lot of progress obtaining diagnoses, learning study skills, managing my mental health etc. and I've decided to get a good sciencey degree so that I don't have to endure the loss of earnings, independence and intellectual stimulation that comes with staying in low-skilled work for ever. Problem is the once raging fire of interest I had is now a pile of damp ashes and nothing has come to replace it. People keep banging on about following your passions but what if you don't have any? I think it's especially important because given the difficulties I have studying and living away from home I can't just stick something out for the sake of it. On the other hand my future will be bleak if I don't have the capacity to earn higher wages and work on something vaugely rewarding, and I really do miss being immersed in science... Any words of wisdom? How can you tell if an interest has died or if it's merely been overshadowed by years of struggle? Can you rescue an interest like people rescue stale marriages? 

Parents

  • getting a good science degree doesnt guarantee employment but in your case i would recommend you go into academia and never come out. 

    u dont have to be passionate to be able to do something --- the passion will come back as u progress through your degree ---- It has happened to many scientists they are studying say biology come across something in their research/study and suddenly switch to their new passion in data science for example. If you are able to jump between the sciences u will actually become a truly gifted scientist the type that ends up as the professor. I have worked with prof in biology who started in chemistry. I have worked with IT people who have degrees in accountacy, english, industrial chemistry.   

    pick a degree u can do and do it, like a robot if need be,,,,,,, get the degree then follow it with a PhD. We need scientists, especially in bacteriology and virology.

    think of your degree as like basic training in the army.  Get into the army then specialise in something. 

Reply

  • getting a good science degree doesnt guarantee employment but in your case i would recommend you go into academia and never come out. 

    u dont have to be passionate to be able to do something --- the passion will come back as u progress through your degree ---- It has happened to many scientists they are studying say biology come across something in their research/study and suddenly switch to their new passion in data science for example. If you are able to jump between the sciences u will actually become a truly gifted scientist the type that ends up as the professor. I have worked with prof in biology who started in chemistry. I have worked with IT people who have degrees in accountacy, english, industrial chemistry.   

    pick a degree u can do and do it, like a robot if need be,,,,,,, get the degree then follow it with a PhD. We need scientists, especially in bacteriology and virology.

    think of your degree as like basic training in the army.  Get into the army then specialise in something. 

Children
  • in reply to aidie

    Yes, I think it can come back by reimmersing yourself in it even before the passion is back. I dropped out of my maths degree, had a five year gap, went back in and started to really really get into it in my third year. I spent my first two years getting into sport and german! And i ended up a lecturer, but in a very different topic.