New to the forum, seeking assessment advice

Hi everyone, sorry if this is asked a lot but the search function doesn’t work particularly well on my phone! I usually just make my way through life without much thought about what goes on in my brain (even though I’ve suspected for quite a long time that I may have Aspergers or something similar) Recently it seems to be more at the forefront of my mind even though I’m not particularly sure why! I’m female in my mid 30’s, married with one child, I have a good job so not sure if an assessment is actually worth pursuing? I’ve taken some of the online tests I’ve scored AQ 26 (was closer to 30 when I first took it at uni 5-10 years back, wasn’t official the neurology students had taken one whilst learning about autism and were a bit ‘freaked’ by scoring in double figures, although they were still well in “normal” range), EQ 16 which was actually quite a surprise that it was that low despite my lack of feelings, I tend to think about things I’m worried about but with little emotional attachment if that makes sense and SQ 49. I generally haven’t ever really felt like I’ve properly fitted in with people but have a couple of close friends but only speak to them occasionally. I’m feeling a bit closer to my colleagues now I have common ground of being a parent but don’t really have any “proper” friends there. There’s quite a bit more but don’t want to turn this into a massive long post! Does the assessment and diagnosis process actually make a difference in your daily life? Have I left it too late and should just carry on as I tick most of the boxes to be deemed successful at life? Thanks for reading

GuybrushThreepwood over 4 years ago in reply to Elizabeth

Hi thanks for your reply, maybe I’ll add some more detail later on or in a future post but I think it will take quite a while for me to think of everything and also type! Might start writing things on the notes app on my phone. I’ve saved a few memes/social media posts etc that I relate to
GuybrushThreepwood over 4 years ago in reply to Ben

Thanks for your reply, I understand what you mean about choosing to tell people, I’m in that kind of stage at the moment about telling people I’m considering being assessed
Ben over 4 years ago

Hello NAS,

I echo everything that Elizabeth says in her first paragraph above, except that I was twenty years older. It is liberating, I had self-diagnosed for a very long time as the psyches and psychologists I had seen seemed to shy away from ASD and keep diagnosing chronic anxiety and giving me pills. I eventually went private and was tested for ASD for the first time. I more than qualified, much more. I briefly felt just about every emotion going, but have felt so much happier since.

Of course, you may go through the assessment and not be diagnosed, in which case at least you'd know. You could, maybe, turn out to have another condition.

I don't concur with Elizabeth re. telling everyone, I have kept it to myself. However, that's very much a personal decision, but I would advise taking your time: once you've told someone you can't untell them.

Ben
Elizabeth over 4 years ago

Dear NAS, hello!

You are definitely not too old to get assessed and it is completely worth it. For what it’s worth, I was assessed in my mid-40s and I found the entire process liberating and the result validating and freeing and cathartic. Suddenly my entire life made sense and I stopped being so hard on myself and instead started to see myself as being unique and valuable, just for being me.

It was also so helpful to share my assessment results - and I literally emailed every single test result to them - with members of my large family. Things made more sense for them as well, and we had some good laughs remembering past events through the lens of oh, Elizabeth has autism!

On a side note, “extremely long posts” on here are normal. I also enjoy the high degree of detail in people’s posts on here. It feels like I’m finally reading messages from ‘my tribe’.

Elizabeth
GuybrushThreepwood over 4 years ago

Thanks so much for your reply, I will definitely look into reading those books, had a quick read of the previews and I’m interested to see how much I can relate to. I think you’re right about it being an individual thing though, I need to try and think about what I would need and expect from the process but I can find that sort of thinking quite difficult
Loz over 4 years ago

I'm 39 and currently awaiting the assessment now. Some are older. At the end of the day, it's your choice to see if it will be worth your time to go through with the assessment. For me, I find it impacts on how I function at work and at home. I've always found that whatever I've attempted has not quite reached and I didn't know why. I'm not waiting for the assessment to make use of the things I've learned about Autism as they have already helped me to make more sense of why I do things and how I make sense of situations. Particularly where it can help me avoid unnecessary anxiety and stress.

Women are also less likely to be diagnosed so it certainly helps to build the understanding if more of us are being assessed. But it can be stressful. It takes time or expense depending on whether you go through NHS or private. You may not get the answer you expect.

If you haven't already, I'd do some additional reading. I like Rudy Simone 'Aspergirls' and Cynthia Kim 'Nerdy, Shy and socially inapropriate'. Both are from the perspective of woman on the spectrum, Rudy Simone also includes other woman and also a helpful chart that you could take to the GP if you decided to go through with the assessment.