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Katrina

So this is difficult for me to talk about. I have only ever had a few friends. However, now they have all moved on and have told me that they don't want to know me anymore because they feel I will stop them from having a good life. I don't know what to do anymore. It's just one bad thing after another. 

Parents

  • Somewhere in the comments, you write that you don't know how to be sociable. To me, this makes perfect sense. I have no intention of being sociable either. There is no drive in me to act sociable. However, there is a huge drive in me to connect with people. Authentic, honest and deep connections. As one of my friends once said: "It always gets psychological with you". I do not care much for superficial chitter-chatter for the purpose of being accepted in a group. However, this has often meant that I would eventually be filtered out in various social contexts. If people are not ready to reflect on who they really are, I know I will be intense to be around. But this is also what my friends appreciate. And it allows be to have fulfilling social interaction with someone I just met - as long as we connect. 

  • in reply to Charlie Timm

    Yes! That's exactly it for me as well and very well put. People always see if as antisocial but it's just because you're not superficial. 

Reply Children
  • in reply to Charlie Timm
    Charlie Timm said:
    It has been proven that autistic people are equally good at communicating with each other, as neuro-typicals are with each other. It is the cross-neurological communication that is faulty.

    Hi, Charlie:

    I couldn’t agree more with what you said, here. The individual in my life with whom I most easily communicate is my cousin who has autism as well.

    When he and I talk, conversation flows in a way I don’t experience with others. It’s a joy to talk to him, and effortless - we think in similar ways in terms of our ways of processing information, our curiosity, our enthusiasm, and our interest in going deep.

    I am curious about whether I would have the same synchronicity with someone with autism who was not my cousin. The fact that he and I are so closely related might I mean that ‘our autisms’, so to speak, are more similar than they would be otherwise.

    I should Google that...

    Hey, wait, I’m on a website with people with autism… So I’m also going to throw this out there by starting a thread about it, asking for others’ thoughts. I’ll copy and paste the paragraphs above...

    Elizabeth

  • in reply to Katrina

    I think it's important to also appreciate that the neuro-typical need for socializing is as strong and important, as the autistic need for connection. None is better than the other. I believe it is nature's was to keep balance and order. Humanity would get nowhere, if the masses where not coherent by the forces of "socializing". The need for connection stems from our need to understand. We want to understand everything and have a high drive to gain knowledge. However, my need to adapt to a group to achieve a larger goal is very little. So, I believe it's good that the majority are social beings and then we just need to accept that our potential friend-pool is small and scattered. 

    It has been proven that autistic people are equally good at communicating with each other, as neuro-typicals are with each other. It is the cross-neurological communication that is faulty.