Also I want to say I'm sorry you went through what you did in childhood. My mum left my dad for him being abusive to her and us but she then subscribed to an extreme religious view of how to deal with autism and that involved some really harsh corporal punishment for me when I strayed slightly away from neurotypical behaviours.
I realise that parents can only do their best and I don't hold anything that was done to me against her (I almost suffocated once in some weird rebirthing thing that was supposed to correct my birth trauma - don't ask because I've never worked it out). It's helpful to reflect on people's motives and I know that deep down she didn't want me to be singled out or to not have a "normal" adult life. We have a good relationship now but I still have issues with being completely unable to break rules, tell stories or try to tell a white lie as I am scared that I'll be beaten with a belt or have a stick taken to the back of my legs even though logically I know people don't do that to other adults.
