I have an ex partner who seems to be on the spectrum. I learned after the breakup from friends that many of them considered him to be Aspergers, but none of them had bothered to or attempted to talk to him about it because they were convinced he would not be receptive. I hadn't noticed at the time, only understood that we had a repetitive and painful cycle that just didn't feel like it had to be that way. It was like all of a sudden it all clicked, I felt horrible for misunderstanding him for so long and desperate to explain what was going on.
It still hurts years later and I do still miss him, but I understand now at least why things ended up the way they did.
We've started to talk again only recently, ever since COVID forced socializing into being mostly online. I brought up the possibility at one point, but didn't go into much detail because I did not want to overwhelm him. With what I know about him, I'm fairly certain that while he was patient in listening he was very unlikely to research it on his own afterward. I love him a lot still and I really want him to be able to understand that maybe things weren't the way they seem, both for him and me.
Did you have any particular resources that resonated/helped you understand if you had Asperger's?
Do you have any pointers on how to approach this conversation?
Some disclaimers/additional information:
-We are fairly young (me being 25 and him being 30).
-I want to acknowledge quickly here that I could be wrong, I am not a psych. But the evidence I've seen and read after everything so strongly leans towards it that I felt it necessary to look for more information.
-It's a little hard to fit all the complexities of a relationship into this post, if there are any questions or concerns that I can expand on please let me know
