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Partner refusing to consider autism

Julia
over 3 years ago

Hi everyone,

I hope you're well. I'm writing here because I don't know what to think anymore of my situation...

I've been in a relationship with this guy for about 2-3 years now. I've suspected early on he might be autistic and got more and more convinced about it overtime. We've spent the past year living together and I'm almost certain he's on the autism spectrum with possibly ADHD as well.

But he doesn't want to believe it or even consider it. We've had very bad fights in the past on the matter where we stopped talking for months. He would say I'm obsessed about fixing problems and to stop bringing it up. When I point out his symptoms, he either stays quiet or excuse it by saying it's his personality.

[Edited because realised after posting/from replies that my message was offensive. Apologies.]

I sometimes get tired about his atypical behaviour and caring for it, and mostly the fact that he doesn't want to aknowledge his peculiar difference. Even though he can openly talk about his suffering from typical autistic traits, he doesn't want to hear anything about health and especially mental health. He prefers to mask and cope in denial rather than admitting there might be a bigger situation at play.

So, I don't know. Has anyone lived through a similar situation here? 

We love each other, but some days I'm just not sure I want to be stuck with his denial and the possible health complications it can involve forever...

Thanks in advance for reading and for any help or insight you might provide.


[Edit: rewrote some parts, as I wrote this too carelessly and was inadvertently hurtful. My most sincere apologies.]

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    I just want to reiterate to everybody that I apologise for my bad, tired writing published earlier, that was hurtful/offensive to some of you. I often have my feelings get the best out of me and end up being tactless.

    When I enquire about how useful it is to get a diagnosis and how to manage a relationship with a possibly undiagnosed autistic partner, it is not because I want to change him. It's because I care about him and us, our wellbeing as well as our health. And as I know he suffers from some of his traits and is sometimes lost as to why he's like that, I try to educate him to the possibilities of who he coud be.

    Because I come from a family where health and disability subjects are very easily talked about and well informed, I easily forget the misconceptions and traumas there are in many people across the world on such matters. So once again, sorry for the offense and thank you for the reminder to be careful with my words.

    Thanks to everybody who gave their opinions, it is insightful and I will keep your words in mind if I start questioning the situation again :)

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    I just want to reiterate to everybody that I apologise for my bad, tired writing published earlier, that was hurtful/offensive to some of you. I often have my feelings get the best out of me and end up being tactless.

    When I enquire about how useful it is to get a diagnosis and how to manage a relationship with a possibly undiagnosed autistic partner, it is not because I want to change him. It's because I care about him and us, our wellbeing as well as our health. And as I know he suffers from some of his traits and is sometimes lost as to why he's like that, I try to educate him to the possibilities of who he coud be.

    Because I come from a family where health and disability subjects are very easily talked about and well informed, I easily forget the misconceptions and traumas there are in many people across the world on such matters. So once again, sorry for the offense and thank you for the reminder to be careful with my words.

    Thanks to everybody who gave their opinions, it is insightful and I will keep your words in mind if I start questioning the situation again :)

Children
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