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Stating facts is negative?

Cookiesmum1986

I'm struggling with some NT interactions I've had recently.

I had a uni assignment where we had to reflect (which I'm awful at) on the process of producing the assignment. I was told that I was being negative against the university and my workplace because I stated that I couldn't find the image that I wanted. We could only use licensed images from our workplace or ones from a specific website and all the ones involved didn't display the disability in the way that the patient groups indicated they'd like their disability to be portrayed. I did write in the reflection that I was trying to be sensitive to the voice of patients but apparently it didn't come across.

Not worrying too much about that we had to post another reflection (see, hopeless) about our group learning experience. We are supposed to be in a group of 8 but we are already down at 7 (maybe someone dropped out?). There are 4 of us who consistently attend the group prep tutorials, one who has been ill and trying her best and of the other two one comes to the tutor led discussions where we're meant to present as a group and commandeers the room (it's virtual) talking about all her individual work and the other has only been to 1 or 2 tutorials since October (they're almost weekly), she's never been to prep. 

So I wrote that I found it hard because the attendance was so sporadic and there's a huge workload to split between a small number of people. 

The tutor emailed me to say that I should rewrite the reflection as it's negative, well my learning experience has been negative and everything is factual.

I don't get what they have against me telling the truth in these reflection pieces and I have hundreds more to do for the course. Am I supposed to lie? If I lie then can I even apply to register as a nurse at the end of this in good faith? Nurses shouldn't lie just to spare someone's feelings, particularly if it's going to put people at risk (like in the above would you want a nurse who skipped all her lessons in cardiac, respiratory and epilepsy? Because I wouldn't). 

At a bit of a loss really. 

  • in reply to Cookiesmum1986

    It is not making excuses if you tell the academic tutor, it is identifying an area in which you may need some more help.  The tutors of courses all want you to pass and should be able to offer suggestions to help you.  After all, the course is costing a great deal of money and it is in no ones interest to put barriers in the way of an able and capable student.

  • in reply to Cookiesmum1986

    That reminds me of how the anti-hero in 'Joker' was driven to despair by bureaucratic buck-passing by his Mental Health Clinics.

  • in reply to aidie

    Thanks for that, I managed to copy and paste what you'd put. 

  • in reply to Trainspotter

    I don't think my academic tutors do know but I'm worried about telling her now in case she thinks I'm making excuses. I can't get support through DSA for my autism as I haven't been tested post 16 (why would I? It's not like I'll outgrow it) and my needs assessment from the uni focuses on things like my dyslexia.

    The tutors involved in allocating me placements and supporting me with patient care all know I'm autistic. 

  • I am constantly being pulled up for negativity, and I never see it myself.  I am being truthful.  I don't see myself as a pessimist, just a realist.  

    I do think it is one of those things that autistic people are prone to as they do not conform to NT expectations.  And the truth as NTs want to be told is not the same as the truth as autistic people want to telln it.

    In written work, I still find it difficult, but constant review of my writings can iron out the worst excesses.  The other thing to remember is to give an assessor what they want, not what you think they should have.  It is difficult but age and experience eventually gets one walking the tightrope without falling off.  It is a fine line to not tell outright fibs in order to not offend or appear less negative.  And for oral communication, thinking about what you are saying in order not to offend can make you appear hesitant and unsure.

    Does your tutor know you are autistic?  A good tutor would guide you in the ways you can appear less blunt and negative, especially if they know what difficulties you have.

  • in reply to aidie

    Yes please that would be really helpful.

    The university tell us to follow a model like "use Gibbs model to reflect on..." and I can find lots about Gibbs and his model but nothing that tells you what you should and shouldn't be writing. Well maybe it makes sense to a NT, I don't know. 

    I have noticed that someone from the tutor group forum has rewritten her reflection and put a comment apologising for being negative so it looks like she's got the same feedback? I know she's NT because when we studied autism she said she hadn't experienced it before. 

    Now I'm wondering if our tutor is just a bit sensitive since I don't appear to be the only "negative" person. 

    Anyone who knows me in real life says I'm a positive person, I get great feedback from patients even on really bad days. 

  • in reply to Cookiesmum1986

    I wouldn't know, I haven't seen it,  but there is a style to them, and probably a marking scheme for the tutor.

    Sorry I just need to know if u want this text  on  "how to write a refection" or not ?

    just reply to me 

  • in reply to aidie

    I didn't dwell, I just wrote that is happened and what I did about it (re-planned the assignment and put in more hours to get the presentation done).

  • i have a document on how to write reflections and it clearly states they must not dwell on the negative  and make it the main thing. u can of course tell the truth but wrap it in the positive stuff

  • Yes - they want you to lie - and tell everyone about how useful the unicorns and fluffy clouds were and how wonderful the uni is      Honesty is verboten these days - it's all smoke & mirrors for the PR dept.       Principals and standards are very expensive today.  Smiley

    Apologies if I sound too negative....   Smiley