How will a diagnosis help me?

excellent tip

A diagnosis takes a long time to get but for me it made everything make sense.

In the short term there is a great book called the Aspergers Couples Workbook by Maxine Aston which if your husband will read it will really help.

You have probably always had those issues so why is he bringing it up now ?

You also sound like you need to find some peace for yourself. Are you able to contact a counsellor who is used to working with autistic people?

Hi  NAS70878 Welcome to this forum

its perfectly ok to use your default name for a while, thats the way this forum has worked for years 

Hi! I wonder if it might be worth contacting a counsellor first? Feeling like you don’t know yourself must be very difficult. Supporting a child with ASD can leave little time for you. Lots of Health Care Trusts have a self referral for adult talking services - it might be worth a look? 

Welcome to the National Autism Society Community Page.

I justed wanted to be kind and inform you that most individuals on the Community Page do not answer or comment on discussions from new users who do not change the user name from the default as we have experienced a lot nasty trolls commenting on this forum with the default username and nothing in their Bio.      

Honestly receiving a diagnosis is not as simple as most people on this community page explain it to be and it really does depend on the human being pursuing a diagnosis and the reason why your want a Diagnosis.

For many people on the autism spectrum and especially those diagnosed later in life the diagnosis can act as comfort and allows them to understands their struggles, behaviours and acts as confirmation that indeed that there is something different about you that has made your life in general more difficult and challenging.

For some people on the autism spectrum like myself who had grown up struggling significantly with education, employment and my mental health getting a diagnosis was important because i was constantly going through the same and similar destructive cycle that would eventually leave me at times in crisis. In situation similar to mine getting a diagnosis has meant getting the physical intervention and support needed to help me break the destructive cycle and to live more independent. 

For a proportion of people getting a diagnosis can mean the world of difference those in the workplace or while studying in an academic environment with reasonable adjustment and extra support given to enable individuals to maintain employment and succeed in education. 

There's a large proportion of the people who go through the autism assessment to find out they may not have autism but another neurodevelopmental disorder such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Sensory processing disorder or an unusual learning disability that wouldn't of been spotted with other health professionals, The professional carryout your autism assessment may not be able to diagnosis and statement the other disorders or learning disability but they refer you to someone who can with greater knowledge and success then your general practitioner. 

There is an even greater proportion of people who go through with the autism assessment to find out the have autism and one or many neurodevelopmental disorder such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Sensory processing disorder or an unusual learning disability.

There is a small proportion of people who seek an autism diagnosis to find out they are suffering with mental health disorder such as chronic post traumatic stress disorder or schizophrenia which can manifest similar behaviours to autism which is okay. the professional assessing individuals for autism are trained and educated to distinguish autism from other mental health disorder and can refer them to specialists for treatment.

Getting an Autism diagnosis is not only validating your suspicions of you having the disorder but the diagnosis is evidence and proof that you may require to access support and benefits in the future. The diagnosis can also act as proof and protect your rights in the workplace under the disability act.

Parents or parent with autism or other neurodevelopmental disorder are believed to have an increased chance of having a child with and other neurological difference that can possible skip generations including Epilepsy, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder & Learning difficulties. having this knowledge now can help your children when they get older when planning their family. 

a diagnosis might help you identify and come to terms with some of your sensitivities, your self-described lack of emotion, maybe some strengths and weaknesses you weren't aware of before. your other half might have more of an understanding of you, if you get an asd diagnosis.

in terms of not knowing yourself anymore -------- my life is kind of pre and post diagnosis. i'm simply not the person i thought i was. is that good??? um, i guess so. i was diagnosed at 62, and am now 65. 

some folk seem ok wo a diagnosis; they seem to accept themselves as they are. others, like me, are just struggling every minute of every day to survive. for them, i'd think a diagnosis is probably good to do.