Published on 12, July, 2020
I am NT and generally a very 'go getting' type, I know my partner procrastinates and I accept it however, sometimes things do need to be done. Call the doctors or go food shopping it doesn't matter what but I don't know how to help him to get motivated.
Please help I am asking for actual ways or words as I don't want to upset him or send him into a meltdown. I find myself getting really frustrated and I am trying meditation to help control that.
He may be already overloaded with what's going on in his life so he's at 100% CPU overload. Any additional requests are logged but never get CPU time as he's processing too many other things.…
This could easily be an issue in a partnership with 2 neurotypicals. Not everyone is so "motivated".
You should maybe look at your list and see where stressors can be removed for both of you. Go food shopping - can it be delivered or click and collect? Go to the doctor - what's the appointment for? If it's a runny nose just leave it, new lump or head falling off then feel free to nag.
We have done a lot to reduce trigger points in our household; dishwasher, robot hoover, magnetic to-do list, shop at exactly the same time each week, meal planning, 2 rooms with a big TV and enhanced TV package, household routine and division of chores where we both follow the schedule. It really helps but NT husband took a lot of training to realise how much I needed the routine to continue even during holidays.
The point you make here is very valid! I don't think he knows yet what he needs. I know he is learning about himself a lot atm and until he is able to tell me what those are how can I understand? He keeps telling me 'I should know' if I know him.... should I? Am I not really in tune with him that much?