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Girlfriend with autism is struggling with sensory overload, need help

NAS70746

Hello.

My girlfriend was diagnosed with autism in the last few years. She didn't struggle too much other than socially and with her intense focus on her interests, so she is considered high-functioning. But lately, she has been getting sensory overloaded more and more and we both don't know where to begin in calming her down, and she doesn't go to a therapist at the moment.

She recently asked me to help her "make a plan" to try to calm her down when she gets this way, but genuinely I don't know much of what to do for an adult, even after a while of research.

I know she has said she is especially sensitive to temperature change, bright light, and loud sound/too many sounds at once. What can I do for those things? 

Feel free to ask for more info if there's anything I left out that you need. I really want to help her and I hate seeing her so defenseless to her breakdowns, so thank you all for your help in advance. 

  • Hi ,

    I'm sorry to hear about some of the struggles you've both faced. You may like to look at the following information on 'meltdowns'/sensory overload and how best to support someone in coping with them:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiences

    I hope this helps.

    ChloeMod

  • in reply to NAS70746

    For problems with temperature change I was going to suggest encouraging her to wear layers of clothing so that she can easily and discreetly remove or add layers when she needs to. She could always carry a soft, good quality, light wool (cashmere?) shawl which would feel lovely and could look beautiful. Good present for her if you need one. Uniqlo do those amazing super warm and pack down very small 'Ultra Light Down Vests/Jackets/Coats'. I always carry one when I travel.

    Good luck. It is very thoughtful of you to seek help and support for her.

  • in reply to NAS70746

    Cool - the problem is a lot of ASD people are soooooo stressed because of their ASD that they can't separate the wood from the trees - you need to get her into a 'zero stress' zone so she can sort out the chaotic jumble within her head to think straight. - things like a weekend away or a day learning something new and random like bushcraft or an ATV 'ponytrek' just to dislodge the stress - something where you can share a laugh.       Then you can communicate in an open and emotion-free way.       It's a good time to chat about life, the universe and everything.   Smiley

  • in reply to Cassie

    Awesome, I was looking for suggestions of items for adults and I was thinking something similar. Glad to know I was on the right track. Thanks Cassie. 

  • in reply to Plastic

    Thank you, there's definitely lots to talk about. This helped quite a bit on where to start, more than you know. I'll see what I can do for her despite what we can't change at the moment.

    It sounds like a large part of this is learning how to cope with stress. I can help with that, at least. I know it's not only stress as it's the sensory stimulation too, but hey, it's a start to talk about that. 

  • have a portable kit of noise cancelling headphones, sunglasses, eye mask, blanket?

  • It may be just 'life' stressing her out.      When we're kids, all decisions are made by parents - we just have to go along with it.    As adults, we have to make decisions about absolutely everything and we're forced to interact with people we don't like and we're put in situations we'd rather escape from.      It's the pressure we feel from our own internal sense of duty that forces us to put ourselves in these situations.

    As this goes against what we would rather do, we get very stressed and overloaded.

    How does she 'chill out'?

    You need to completely analyse your lives and work out which parts are causing stress and which parts are soothing.    She might not be suited to the typical modern life rat-race ideals of the masses - so think about alternative lifestyles - like living on a boat and stepping away from the stress of the world.   

    Lots for you to talk about - good luck.  Smiley