Need advice for approaching doctors to get a diagnosis - I'm in my 30s and a Primary Teacher in the UK

My experience is that a private  non NHS diagnosis is taken seriously.  It has been accepted whenever I have needed to have 'proof'  -  in work, in court, and in the NHS itself.

The person who might not have much empathy when you request an assessment is, strangely enough, your GP.  GPs are set up to provide a medical service and provide medication.  Anything that does not require medication they can be uncomfortable with.

When I went to my GP a few years ago, suffering another bout of anxiety and depression this time brought on by changes in work processes, I said to him that I thought I may be autistic and showed him the details of the scores for the AQ50 test ( google Free online AQ test, the test shows an indication of autism and whether it may be beneficial to seek assessment), he was quite dismissive.  He said my health authority would not fund adult autism assessments and even if they did the waiting time would be in excess of two years.  I was in my early sixties, and the doctor said that if I had gone that long 'without problems' a diagnosis wouldn't help.  This despite a history of anxiety and depression going back to my teens, a problem with spoken communication and being understood, the fact that in my life I have been unemployed longer than I have had gainful employment, that I invariably failed job selection processes, that others thought me 'strange' but not in a perverted way, that I was very sensitive to sounds, smell, taste, touch and light, but never mind that, I 'had no problems'.  I had no alternative but to seek a private diagnosis which I had within six weeks.I could I'll afford the cost, but being without a job would have cost me much more. 'Slight or 'major' or 'mild' or 'severe' have little meaning in autism.  Those with so called mild autism tend to have their needs overlooked, while others can have their capabilities overlooked.

This enabled Occupational Health to recommend adjustments at work, and Access to Work to fund a support worker for two two hour sessions a month.  My problems at work were far from over and took two further years before I was finally accepted for what I am.  But without it I would not have had a job, of that I am certain.  With all the repercussions for pensions and possible homelessness.  Under the equality act you would in theory not require a diagnosis, it is how the condition affects you that in theory is the important thing.  But autism is to others such a pretty vague thing and  indistinguishable to a work manager from insubordination and incapability to do your job. 

Look through your school reports if you have them.  They have a lot of clues as to how you were perceived as a child.  Your parents may also be of great help at an assessment as they can tell of problems you may have had as a youngster.  But certainly, do the AQ test and take the scores to your GP.  If you are under any treatment from a psychiatrist, it might be an idea to share your thoughts there as well.  CBT seems a common treatment for anxiety and depression, but would possibly be of limited use in autism ad it is about altering your behaviour, something that for someone autistic to try can make the anxiety and depression worse.  Masking by trying to behave in a 'normal' way causes many problems for someone autistic.

Above all, whatever is causing your problems needs sorting out.  Taking tablets for depression is not a cure.  You need to get to the root of the problem.

I know why I've been depressed since I was 11 or 13. I was physically and emotionally bullied through secondary school because I am not white and I went to a predominately white school with not many people like me. The teachers didn't help me at all so I just suffered in silence from the age of 11 until I tried to kill myself when I was 13. I then had to fight back until I left the school at 15 (I'm a summer child), the not so good results of my GCSEs show the effects of the bullying. I have felt low and depressed until I was 22 and I woke up one day wanting to kill myself. I have had counselling on and off since I was 13. I've also had psychotherapy after I was attacked twice in the span of 2 years at my part-time retail job a few years ago - I was beaten up and money taken from the tills and then I had a knife pulled out on me. Luckily I wasn't physically hurt, but this triggered my anxiety attacks again, since then I've had therapy to help me through that and then been on anxiety meds since. My gran passed away last year around the time they were going to review my anxiety medication but I stayed on it because I was having anxiety attacks struggling with dealing with the death of someone close to me. I'm not as depressed as I used to be and my thoughts are much clearer then it used to be when I was 22. I came through it and had a few good years until I've gotten to this point.

I've had covid and recovered and I have asthma, it was scary when I struggled to breathe and now I'm thinking about death a lot because of it. I remember how it felt. Anyway I just wanted to share what I've tried, been through and I am actually in a better place then I was 10 years ago. I've been considering more therapy but I can't afford that at the moment to be able to pay privately.

Your reply has helped me think about the route I can take to seek help. Thank you.

why did u try to kill yourself ? and what was your parents/siblings response?

here is a link to the raads-r test 

give it a go. just fill in the top section on the landing page (u dont need to create an account)

www.aspietests.org/userdetails.php

Thank you for your help. I will bring it up with my doctor.

yes that indicates you are likely to be autistic, I was yellow all the way across. The tests arent full proof. Yes  my big thing is the social aspect as well.  

yes that indicates you are likely to be autistic, I was yellow all the way across. The tests arent full proof. Yes  my big thing is the social aspect as well.  

Thank you for your help. I will bring it up with my doctor.