Need advice for approaching doctors to get a diagnosis - I'm in my 30s and a Primary Teacher in the UK

yes some private guys will put on their sites "self referrals accepted"

Hello :)
Getting a diagnosis will at provide you with some answers and piece of mind. It really does help explain the way you are and you can help you cope better or avoid situations that make you stressed or anxious.

It will then allow you to seek help with your anxiety, whether that be medication and or CBT.

In my case, my anxiety was getting worse (as I was getting older?) and my GP did suggest that there could be other reasons why my anxiety was getting worse, so we agreed that I would write everything down that I thought was odd or unusual from as far back in my past as I could remember.

I presented 8 pages of A8 to my GP and he said he would try ang get a quick review to decide, if things need further investigation. Alas, after 3 months, he said that the Adult Mental health provision in our area (Fareham, South Hampshire) was non existant.

So I requested a private referral - even though I had no idea what was wrong.

A couple of months later i saw a Psychiatrist (The Priory, Southampton) - cost £350 and saw him for 45 minutes. He had read my notes and after meeting me, said he was 95% certain that I had Aspergers.

However, he said that although, he was happy to give me a letter saying this, he said that my work place and official establishments, would expect to see a formal assessment result.

Therefore, he referred me to Hampshire Psychologists for the full assessment including the ADOS test - cost about £2000.

So now I have a Psychologist diagnosis backed up by the formal diagnosis report.

As an aside though, my son was being seen by CAMS, he too was seeking a diagnosis and the Spanish locum, was convinced of his Aspergers but said that they assessed people by committee, a few a month!!

After 6 months (just before he left) - he decided to formally diagnose my son and wrote a letter to that effect. Note that he didn't have the ADOS test OR a lengthy report, just a short letter.

However, this letter has been accepted by all official establishments

So It might be that you might try the private route and not necessarily need the expensive formal assessment.

What annoyed me slightly about the formal assessment, was that although I was referred by the Psychologist (with a diagnosis) I still had to have the initial assessment with Hampshire Psychologists (£250) - which seemed a bit pointless. The actual assessment cost ~ £1700.

On reflection, I noticed that I had actually been referred to Hampshire Psychologists - Southampton. But my referral had gone AWOL and I was seen by a couple of Psychologists in Basingstoke & Reading. They seemed to start from scratch and didn't take into account the Psychiatrists assessment, ie did I really need an initial "screening" assessment?

In your case, at least you would pay for the initial consultation, they would then decide whether a full assessment was required - ie they will make a judgement at the first consultation whether they think you are Autistic or not. There were a few forms to fill out initially - the AQ and EQ tests and general medical questions.

So you might pay £250 to be told that you are NOT Autistic or that you probably are, but will need to pay another £1700 to formally confirm it.

At your young age, it would definitely be worth it :)

Anyway, as I advice everyone, write down all the reasons, why you think you have Autism, and stories from your childhood, quirks or strange habits etc. Once you have all that written down, take it to your GP.

He has to see you and can't refuse a private referral if you insist on one!! I also think that you can actually contact these private organisations (like Hampshire Psychologists) with a "Self" referral - so no need to go to a GP??

Best of luck :)

Are there any colleagues who would be willing to write something or anyone to substantiate your concerns? For me it’s been quite quick, due to support from work. 

Thank you for your help. I will bring it up with my doctor.

yes that indicates you are likely to be autistic, I was yellow all the way across. The tests arent full proof. Yes  my big thing is the social aspect as well.  

u have to rename the image to .GIF thats the only images this site allows

Sorry I can be quite defensive and it's something I'm working on. I'm not sure, I have yellow for the total score column, social relatedness and circumscribed interests. That means I'm above the threshold, I tried to add a picture of it but I couldn't figure that out so I thought it'd be easier to type lol.

that link just takes me to the landing page --- u're id is probably in a cookie on your machine..

does the results show you to be autistic ?

no you are correct you dont have to talk about it.

so sorry for going too far i have talked to a lot of suicidal people and I guess I am way too used to it.

you have been through a lot of  bad stuff 

IDGAF is a good attitude very close to Zen thinkin' ,, its the lashing out bit u have to control, thats where i went wrong as well.

also you may have PTSD from all the violence you have been exposed too. 

. i'll stop now. 

I do genuinely wish the best.for you  

So I took the test you gave the link to and these are the results. I always knew I have problems socially.

https://www.aspietests.org/raads/questions.php?show=1

I don't really want to talk about it because it isn't the focus here. I was bullied because I'm not white and was made fun of for being different and I wanted to die because I hated the way I look because I felt as though no one accepts me for how I look. I've been racially bullied a lot and tbh I've already worked through that in therapy and I'm not gaining anything by talking it through again when I feel as though I've resolved that issue through therapy. My main concern is seeing if I'm on the spectrum. My family don't know about me wanting to die as I moved out when I was around 19 (I think) and while I lived at home I was good at hiding everything I felt. My family knew something was up but I always pretended I was ok and everything was ok. I'm great at pretending I'm happy when I'm not, I spent most of my life pretending I'm ok due to the bullying and not wanting them to realise they affected me and the teachers telling me there was nothing they could do even after I was strangled on school grounds. I decided then that IDGAF what happens and I started to lash out. Thank you for the link and advice I'm going to go check that out now.

Thank you. I left my last teaching position due to being bullied by the head and was bullied out of the school and so currently not working because this has affected my mental health as well. I know the school in Sept 2020 has had a new head and new senior team so in all honesty all the people who were above me that could write something have left and I have no contact with them due to how they treated me. 

Also, does the process take a really long time? 

Hi, I am a teacher too going through the assessment process and my work have been very supportive. Prior to going to your GP, could you ask for input from work? Maybe like a list of reason why they would support a referral? My workplace wrote a letter with my strengths and difficulties on and it really helped. 

why did u try to kill yourself ? and what was your parents/siblings response?

here is a link to the raads-r test 

give it a go. just fill in the top section on the landing page (u dont need to create an account)

www.aspietests.org/userdetails.php

I know why I've been depressed since I was 11 or 13. I was physically and emotionally bullied through secondary school because I am not white and I went to a predominately white school with not many people like me. The teachers didn't help me at all so I just suffered in silence from the age of 11 until I tried to kill myself when I was 13. I then had to fight back until I left the school at 15 (I'm a summer child), the not so good results of my GCSEs show the effects of the bullying. I have felt low and depressed until I was 22 and I woke up one day wanting to kill myself. I have had counselling on and off since I was 13. I've also had psychotherapy after I was attacked twice in the span of 2 years at my part-time retail job a few years ago - I was beaten up and money taken from the tills and then I had a knife pulled out on me. Luckily I wasn't physically hurt, but this triggered my anxiety attacks again, since then I've had therapy to help me through that and then been on anxiety meds since. My gran passed away last year around the time they were going to review my anxiety medication but I stayed on it because I was having anxiety attacks struggling with dealing with the death of someone close to me. I'm not as depressed as I used to be and my thoughts are much clearer then it used to be when I was 22. I came through it and had a few good years until I've gotten to this point.

I've had covid and recovered and I have asthma, it was scary when I struggled to breathe and now I'm thinking about death a lot because of it. I remember how it felt. Anyway I just wanted to share what I've tried, been through and I am actually in a better place then I was 10 years ago. I've been considering more therapy but I can't afford that at the moment to be able to pay privately.

Your reply has helped me think about the route I can take to seek help. Thank you.

that very last sentence is so true

Trainspotter said:

Above all, whatever is causing your problems needs sorting out.  Taking tablets for depression is not a cure.  You need to get to the root of the problem.

My experience is that a private  non NHS diagnosis is taken seriously.  It has been accepted whenever I have needed to have 'proof'  -  in work, in court, and in the NHS itself.

The person who might not have much empathy when you request an assessment is, strangely enough, your GP.  GPs are set up to provide a medical service and provide medication.  Anything that does not require medication they can be uncomfortable with.

When I went to my GP a few years ago, suffering another bout of anxiety and depression this time brought on by changes in work processes, I said to him that I thought I may be autistic and showed him the details of the scores for the AQ50 test ( google Free online AQ test, the test shows an indication of autism and whether it may be beneficial to seek assessment), he was quite dismissive.  He said my health authority would not fund adult autism assessments and even if they did the waiting time would be in excess of two years.  I was in my early sixties, and the doctor said that if I had gone that long 'without problems' a diagnosis wouldn't help.  This despite a history of anxiety and depression going back to my teens, a problem with spoken communication and being understood, the fact that in my life I have been unemployed longer than I have had gainful employment, that I invariably failed job selection processes, that others thought me 'strange' but not in a perverted way, that I was very sensitive to sounds, smell, taste, touch and light, but never mind that, I 'had no problems'.  I had no alternative but to seek a private diagnosis which I had within six weeks.I could I'll afford the cost, but being without a job would have cost me much more. 'Slight or 'major' or 'mild' or 'severe' have little meaning in autism.  Those with so called mild autism tend to have their needs overlooked, while others can have their capabilities overlooked.

This enabled Occupational Health to recommend adjustments at work, and Access to Work to fund a support worker for two two hour sessions a month.  My problems at work were far from over and took two further years before I was finally accepted for what I am.  But without it I would not have had a job, of that I am certain.  With all the repercussions for pensions and possible homelessness.  Under the equality act you would in theory not require a diagnosis, it is how the condition affects you that in theory is the important thing.  But autism is to others such a pretty vague thing and  indistinguishable to a work manager from insubordination and incapability to do your job. 

Look through your school reports if you have them.  They have a lot of clues as to how you were perceived as a child.  Your parents may also be of great help at an assessment as they can tell of problems you may have had as a youngster.  But certainly, do the AQ test and take the scores to your GP.  If you are under any treatment from a psychiatrist, it might be an idea to share your thoughts there as well.  CBT seems a common treatment for anxiety and depression, but would possibly be of limited use in autism ad it is about altering your behaviour, something that for someone autistic to try can make the anxiety and depression worse.  Masking by trying to behave in a 'normal' way causes many problems for someone autistic.

Above all, whatever is causing your problems needs sorting out.  Taking tablets for depression is not a cure.  You need to get to the root of the problem.