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Making friends?

Myrmeleon

This is an issue that I believe pertains to my Asperger's syndrome, which is that I feel I have a very hard time making friends or keeping up relationships with anyone I do make friends with. I'm 24 years old and I get very lonely (not in the sense of wanting a partner, for clarification) because of how few friends I actually have.

For context, I was never good at making friends as a child. I really struggled with social interactions with most people when I was young, especially with the other children I was at school with. This only worsened when I went to secondary school (because, for whatever reason, as soon as children walk through the gates of a secondary school they turn into such utterly vile monsters), as I was bullied, both emotionally and physically, to an extreme extent for practically the entirety of my secondary school career, and even for the duration of my sixth form college years too. As a result of all this, I feel a great anger and apprehension towards people my own age, or people in younger age groups as a result of this. 

The aforementioned issue, coupled with my intense focus on interests many others I know have branded as "niche", has led me to have very few friends. (For clarification, my main interests are biology, particularly animal sciences such as entomology, and also the visual arts; I enjoy drawing pictures and also like graphic novels and cartoons.)

I'm at an absolute loss, and have been ever since this sudden realisation about how I have very few people other than my immediate family present in my life. I hate feeling so alone. I want to have friends who share my interests which, again, most people think are "weird". I realise there's more to friendship than this, but I honestly have had moments in the past where I would be upset at the fact that I would, for example, read a paper or article about a species of beetle I like, and then have no one to share this passion with. 

What I want to ask the other people of this forum of, is if you have any advice for making friends? Or, how to cope with this kind of loneliness? 

Thanks for reading. 

Parents

  • Hello,

    it is a struggle to maintain friendships when you do not understand the complex social cues as I do. I have found that having a shared interest does make it easy such as my local cycling club. I also made friends in the local autism support group but the pandemic has ended this. Is there any volunteering opertunities locally, would this enable you to meet people? 

  • in reply to LucyLandRover

    Yes, I understand not meeting complex social cues. Even as a grown man I still struggle with this from time to time. I have done some voluntary jobs in the past, but I didn't connect with people in the way I had hoped to, likely because of my difficulties with social interaction and such. I really don't know what to do.

Reply Children
  • in reply to Myrmeleon

    Looking at the many replies, you have made friends here. I too am shy and I do understand how hard it is even online but I push myself and love chatting to people here. The current covid situation does not help and I hope that the many local support groups can start meeting again soon. Is there a group near to you? I have had a lot of help and made friends there and keep in email contact.