Published on 12, July, 2020
I've got a much needed new friend. How do I avoid overwhelming him?
He's NT, he seems really well adjusted, he's straightforward and good at communicating when and when he can't meet. He seems glad too, I think he's kinda got caught up with family n kids, and friends with kids who are busy, so glad of a chat. I've told him I'm autistic and he was amazingly gentle with it. I'm really relieved to have a well adjusted, uncomplicated male friend who's a similar age. It's gone really nicely, but I can be quite intense and that started to come out today. So what do I talk about to keep things lighter?
I've tended to make friends by having deep 1-1 chats. I've read of other aspies who do friendship quite intensley, asking probing questions, showing care, getting people to open up. It ends up with me being everyone's therapist. I'd like a more mutual relationship, and to stay lighter, and also he's well adjusted and doesn't need deep and meaningful. But today I started to go there anyway cos I'd run out of stuff to say. NT conversations about beer, football, tv, popular culture, kids or whatever else they talk about don't do anything for me but leave me bemused and silent.
So, how am I gonna take this friendship forward. I'm seeing him next just after christmas for a 2'30" run, which is a lot of talking time.
i am a walking disaster when it comes to making friends
T'aww. Yeah it's hard.
And this is Mr NSI above. MGG is still awol:( and probably will be for a long long time.
but you keep at it
Statistically, and i trained as a statistician, dice have a higher probability of success for the most important life decisions than human decision making!
But yeah, I've been thinking that. Mr NSI is not the type of friend I'd normally make, but feels really healthy, so I've been wondering how to expand my field of friendship making.
I'm naturally optimistic, but I do wonder whether my best strategy is to optimise a life assuming I won't meet someone instead of constantly chasing false leads. I'm happy enough alone until that tranquility is shattered by someone like MGG.
Covid busting my christmas is wobbling me today, but really i could do with someone even if only for a few weeks fling.
NO to becoming a recluse ,,,, u are quite a nice guy, with bags of energy so keep going.
u will meet the right person eventually.
change how u select people ie use a dice,, so that try out people you wouldnt normally even look at ..... like i said i shouldnt give you advice
Yeah, I've been wondering if i should invest in becoming a recluse. I think I could learn to do it, at least a bit. I'm sort of letting go of MGG, which is really sad. I really miss him, and I'm sure I'm on his mind too. I'm not going to meet someone lime that again. I've always had good perseverence, but I'm feeling more often on giving up on people generally. Which is also sad. But then becoming friends with Mr NSI is nice.