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How to have a romantic relationship if you can't flirt/ read between the lines??

NAS69063

I am a very recently diagnosed 22 year old woman and I really want to be in a romantic relationship (I know that sounds very sad and desperate!!). I have had a boyfriend in my teens but we were more like friends. I feel like I can never truly be happy until I am in a relationship/ have a family, which is a very negative way to think, I know, but many of my NT friends have boyfriends/ girlfriends and I feel unaccomplished compared to them.

But I'm afraid that I can never initiate a romantic relationship because I have no idea what flirting is and what the difference is between flirting and making friends. I also know that reading between the lines is important when you're trying to form a romantic relationship... how do people on the spectrum navigate that? 

I would be extremely grateful if any of you could please provide any tips on dating/ forming deep, romantic connections with people!! Many thanks :)

Parents

  • I would suggest that users and abusers can smell desperation so if you're not good at flirting and spotting interest, you might not spot a bad egg homing in on you.

    As a middle-aged aspie, I have learned that the high-functioning aspie males who can manage a career seem to be in a similar position from predatory women.    

    These guys tend to be nice blokes with serious trust issues but tend to look at a relationship as desirable and closer to pair-bonding like swans rather that dealing with shallow women demanding huge gestures to 'prove' their love.

    I'd also suggest that you should look for a male with parents who are still together - his measurement / vision of a relationship means life-long commitment and solving issues over immediately splitting up if things get tough.

    These guys will tend to be specialists - scientists, architects, engineers etc. - try to think of what interests you might have with them and you'll find as many as you can imagine.       I'm 99% sure all of my friends are undiagnosed aspies.  Smiley

    These people tend to not see imaginary societal limits - they'll be very inquisitive 'nerds' who want to explore the world - especially if they have a like-minded partner to share it all with.

    The flirting becomes unnecessary - you either see interest in each other's minds - or you don't.  Smiley

    Just my analysis......

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  • I would suggest that users and abusers can smell desperation so if you're not good at flirting and spotting interest, you might not spot a bad egg homing in on you.

    As a middle-aged aspie, I have learned that the high-functioning aspie males who can manage a career seem to be in a similar position from predatory women.    

    These guys tend to be nice blokes with serious trust issues but tend to look at a relationship as desirable and closer to pair-bonding like swans rather that dealing with shallow women demanding huge gestures to 'prove' their love.

    I'd also suggest that you should look for a male with parents who are still together - his measurement / vision of a relationship means life-long commitment and solving issues over immediately splitting up if things get tough.

    These guys will tend to be specialists - scientists, architects, engineers etc. - try to think of what interests you might have with them and you'll find as many as you can imagine.       I'm 99% sure all of my friends are undiagnosed aspies.  Smiley

    These people tend to not see imaginary societal limits - they'll be very inquisitive 'nerds' who want to explore the world - especially if they have a like-minded partner to share it all with.

    The flirting becomes unnecessary - you either see interest in each other's minds - or you don't.  Smiley

    Just my analysis......

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