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A funny feeling, no other description

Deleted User

Tonight, I went in a strange mood. I'm ok now but this by no means thr first time this has happened. It's like something comes over me and I can't put into words, just a funny feeling. Im not sure why, and it just made me feel sad. Like feeling tearful was the only way to express myself because I think sometimes I don't fully understand myself. There was no reason for me to feel sad. Nothing had even happened. I think I get lost in my head too much.

So I went upstairs and changed the bed. My partner knew something was up, and so did I,  but I didn't know what.

I don't know if this is an autistic thing. I'm even doubting that I'm on the spectrum at all and will be paying out a large sum of money for an assessment next month.

Parents

  • This has happened again this week. Don't know why. Strange mood and cannot shake it off. Strong anxiety symptoms came from nowhere a couple of days ago. It's led to sadness and just feeling strange.

    Have confirmation of being autistic now though.  I'm just wondering if it's being out of routine cos it's Easter. I'm pretty sure it was like this last Easter and I know I've felt like this before at similar time of year. 

    I don't even know how to ask for help or how to talk about it with anyone cos I don't know what's wrong. I don't think it's anxiety cos I don't feel worried.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    How are you treating yourself ? Are you being nice to yourself on your time off and allowing yourself to be comfortable in your own skin when work stops ? Sometimes we are unknowingly on autopilot during our daily routines and work life mode and unconsciously stressed then when we stop our bodies are sometimes crying-out to just be acknowledged. A lot of feelings can pop up when we just stop. Feelings that we have neglected or just kept pushed under the surface by being constantly busy. It's important to acknowledge them and allow them and just be with yourself. Even if it's just for 20 mins a day of alone time, breathing, meditating or listening to music and just allowing yourself to be.

    It may sound weird or counter-productive, but if you are feeling sad it can be helpful to listen to sad songs that express sad pain or the type of emotions you are feeling just to acknowledge them, listen to them, feel them and allow them to pass. It may surprise you how music or the emotions expressed in it can reach to places you never thought existed inside you and release them. Everyone has their own taste in music but the important thing is to find those that acknowledge these feelings and eventually release them. 

    This one, I think is acknowledging Sad-Pain that maybe you don't even know where it comes from. 

    https://youtu.be/9FoQpBM46u8

    The fact that it is not in English is even better so you pay attention to the feeling, not the words.

  • in reply to Turtle

    I definitely agree with you on that Turtle. I was going through PTSD Counselling over 2019-2020, got to a really heavy part of the counselling. I remember leaving one day feeling so overwhelmed. Put my headphones on and this started playing. (6) Ludovico Einaudi - Experience - YouTube 

    There are no words that I can offer which would describe the feeling. But by the time the song ended, I had stood by the roadside in floods of tears and felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

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  • in reply to Turtle

    I definitely agree with you on that Turtle. I was going through PTSD Counselling over 2019-2020, got to a really heavy part of the counselling. I remember leaving one day feeling so overwhelmed. Put my headphones on and this started playing. (6) Ludovico Einaudi - Experience - YouTube 

    There are no words that I can offer which would describe the feeling. But by the time the song ended, I had stood by the roadside in floods of tears and felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Children
  • in reply to Loz

    I have listened to Ludovico Einaudi some years back. I agree Loz. Music was better than therapy for me as I had trauma trapped inside me too that I had overlooked and ignored for years. When I finally acknowledged it and re-lived it it was a tough time. That's when I started listening to music and the music I was drawn to was those with intense emotion & feeling, especially loss or pain. For me it just happened to be Gypsy music - Gypsy Kings etc as they let it all out. They have been brought-up to express everything they are feeling inside and there are not many minority groups who have experienced persecution, trauma and prejudice like them, for centuries. 

    The funny thing was I had bought one of their Albums decades ago so it was no coincidence why. The simple knowing there were other people out there who had experienced pain and were able to communicate it to me on a deeper level was a therapeutic balm on old wounds. There was no thinking required. It spoke to me inside like some kind of special internal language. 

    This one particularly helped https://youtu.be/wMzu2HfCzSg.

    I only speak baby-talk Spanish so I didn't even know what the lyrics meant at the time. It was pure feeling that spoke to me. I won't attempt to describe the meaning but I think it's loosely based on Solitude and acknowledging it. They even refer to it as an old love.