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married with autism

NAS68399

Hello.

I have been married for 14 years and my husband has autism. We are struggling. There are times being married that he says or does something that hurts my feelings in some way. I express this to him. For me that's it the issue is resolved. My husband feel's that its always him that upsets me and not the other way around. He said that this makes him have low self esteem. I have spoken to a counsellor who said that its normal to upset each other and have disagreements, its resolving that is the issue. My husband feels that it is always him upsetting me and its affected his self-esteem so he does not have any. He Has said hes felt it for ten years and not said anything before. I don't know what to do to help. I cannot not say if I'm upset. There are times when i am upset i dont say anything but i cannot do it all the times. Any comments gratefully appreciated.Thanks

Parents

  • from your evidence:

    he's acting inappropriately. 

    I think u need to go to a marriage counsellor as he appears to be  looking elsewhere

    you havent got over his online affair and that needs to be resolved

    the stuff about asking permission is odd  -- its like he is trying to show u as the wrong doer

    you have depression,  he has autism, if you can use any free marriage counsellor stuff do it.

    if well off even better I recommend you get this resolved soon

  • in reply to aidie

    Absolutely - it sounds like he likes the thrill of the chase as it's all remote and under *his* control.       He clearly doesn't have the full set of social skills to maintain a relationship or fulfil your emotional needs.

    Most counsellors won't have a clue about autism and relationships - you need to seek out someone a bit more understanding about how his mind actually works.

    You need to look after yourself.

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  • in reply to aidie

    Absolutely - it sounds like he likes the thrill of the chase as it's all remote and under *his* control.       He clearly doesn't have the full set of social skills to maintain a relationship or fulfil your emotional needs.

    Most counsellors won't have a clue about autism and relationships - you need to seek out someone a bit more understanding about how his mind actually works.

    You need to look after yourself.

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