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married with autism

NAS68399

Hello.

I have been married for 14 years and my husband has autism. We are struggling. There are times being married that he says or does something that hurts my feelings in some way. I express this to him. For me that's it the issue is resolved. My husband feel's that its always him that upsets me and not the other way around. He said that this makes him have low self esteem. I have spoken to a counsellor who said that its normal to upset each other and have disagreements, its resolving that is the issue. My husband feels that it is always him upsetting me and its affected his self-esteem so he does not have any. He Has said hes felt it for ten years and not said anything before. I don't know what to do to help. I cannot not say if I'm upset. There are times when i am upset i dont say anything but i cannot do it all the times. Any comments gratefully appreciated.Thanks

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  • What does he do / not do that upsets you?      Are you doing anything to stop him accidentally hurting you?     Does he know the rules of your game so he can avoid the pitfalls?

    How do you upset him?     We work totally in logic and reality so abstract concepts cause difficulties - "How much do you love me?"    Dunno - can't possibly measure that and give a precise answer etc.

  • in reply to Plastic

    hello, i am not autistic and dont know what you mean by mental illness. I have depression after an inccident last year. Examples, we were visiting his mum and he was texting a friend about them going out the next night, he was asking my persmission in front of his mum.we have already had these discussions. he is a grown man and wants to go out thats fine, i have always encouraged him out, but when we are with friend he makes out like he has to ask or lets people assume it, and i dont like it. last year he had an emotional affair with a woman online. teo weeks aho he went out and come home drunk, he was on social media messaging random women and discussing he was feeling low, she said she was, there was lots of hearts , they both stated to be there for each other. this really upset me....i have issues after last year. we had previously discussed no drunk random women private messaging. does that help?

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  • in reply to Plastic

    hello, i am not autistic and dont know what you mean by mental illness. I have depression after an inccident last year. Examples, we were visiting his mum and he was texting a friend about them going out the next night, he was asking my persmission in front of his mum.we have already had these discussions. he is a grown man and wants to go out thats fine, i have always encouraged him out, but when we are with friend he makes out like he has to ask or lets people assume it, and i dont like it. last year he had an emotional affair with a woman online. teo weeks aho he went out and come home drunk, he was on social media messaging random women and discussing he was feeling low, she said she was, there was lots of hearts , they both stated to be there for each other. this really upset me....i have issues after last year. we had previously discussed no drunk random women private messaging. does that help?

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