Sound overload

Hi there,

I'm new to this site and was just looking for a bit of advice. 

My OH has breathing problems so has to breathe through his nose and is therefore SO loud! He yawns like 10 times in a row in the mornings and it makes my blood boil. I've never known someone yawn so loud. Then sitting near him during the day all I can hear is his mouth breathing and making a clicking sound. When we sit at breakfast all I hear is his crunching of fruit, breathing and coffee slurping. Then he'll be wiggling his legs and fighting. I just can't cope. I get so mad at him but know its my aspergers. 

I really don't know what to do to help. Its driving us apart and I hate waking up next to him. I already make him use vapor rub and a snore device whilst I cram ear plugs deep into my ears each night. 

I just want peace for my crazy brain Sob 

But then I feel so so bad for my moaning but I just can't control it. What's wrong with me? 

Thanks x

  • Gosh, you have my sympathy. People's breathing really does my head in. As a kid I was in total meltdown all the time at home. It really is hard to communicate to people the impact. Some people definitely breathe so much louder than others, and then it makesyou less tolerant of their other breath type noises.

    Could he get an op on his nose? Or work with a herbalist to reduce allergies so he can breath through his nose? Or there are other therapy approaches to learn to breath through the nose. I shifted from being a mouth breather to a nose breather, though i did undergo a wholesale revision of my life.

    I,m so traumatised by breathing that if I share a room with someone I have to wait til they're asleep before i can stop being anxious about my own breathing noise ittitating them, tho no one has ever complained!

  • my and my OH now sleep in separate rooms due to one of us snoring like a ship Slight smile before that i used to sleep with headphones on which was quite a skill.

  • next is earplugs  one ear then 2. 

    i where headphone quite a bit

    i mostly get out of the room when i feel irritated so i dont start a fight

    it sounds to me ur anxiety has increased  somehow would i be correct ?

    how long have u been together ?

    any kids ? or thinking of kids ?

  • Easiest solution - sleep in seperate rooms. We do - my wife and I. Have done for over ten years. Its the way forward I promise. 

  • get a radio on to mask some of what u mention. An ECho alexa is quite good in the kitchen as u dont need hands to operate it. Mine is used as a radio 90% of time.

  • Anne, I can well sympathize with your situation because I, too, would be affected by the kind of noises you talk about. I presume your partner is aware of your Asperger's so why isn't he trying to help you a bit by controlling his noises more? I'm not saying he does it on purpose but he sounds a little insensitive to me. Maybe you don't complain enough so he's not that aware of the discomfort he's putting you through. He may even think it's not really his problem at all and that it's only you that is making it one, I don't know. Have you no spare room you can sleep in by yourself? Anne, far be it for me to tell you how to live your life, but if your OH refuses to co-operate in the future maybe it's time you need to make a few ultimatums. If he loves you enough he should be prepared to make a reasonable effort to modify he behaviour, otherwise, you are going to suffer for a long time to come. Maybe he just takes you for granted, Anne, I don't know.