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Bizarre life

Roswell

My dad is awkward with me and is old. There's a reasonable chance he'll die before me unless I kill myself.

But after he's dead I've no idea what comes next. My mother is my best friend and is also quite old. She's said she doesn't want to leave the house to me. She doesn't think I'm reliable or able to look after myself as I've been in 4 psychiatric wards, never been able to work, have no friends, bad anxiety, and so on.

So if my mother dies before me too, I don't know what happens then. Presumably the house will be left to one of my sisters who is seen as responsible. I think that's likely to be my oldest sister who's disabled too but not that similar to me. She's never been sectioned, has never got in trouble with the law even in a minor way and has serious disabilities but is able to manage reasonably well.

I can't get on with her that well, though. So maybe my mum thinks this sister would be the landlady of the property, owning it, and I would rent it off her? I'm not sure. But however it would work, it all seems too complicated and with potential things I couldn't cope with. I've lived alone a couple of times and both times my neighbours frightened me, I couldn't cope.

This is such a bizarre life. Not many people in their mid-thirties feel so powerless that they're worrying about whether they'll still have their parents' home to live in.

Parents

  • I'm in the same boat - living at home aged 41 - but I am optimistic; most times.

    It's clearing the financial and legal wreckage of my family's secrecy that's the issue.

  • in reply to Desmond79

    There's nothing wrong with living at home, in and of itself. If the people you live with are fine, it's all well. I don't subscribe to the notion we should stigmatise any living situation. But when you speak of financial and legal wreckage, I've no idea what you mean.

  • in reply to Roswell

    There's a lot of stigma about discussing finances within families - it's a hangover from the Victorians trying to out-do their neighbours - or at least pretend they were.      If everything is secret, you can claim anything to be true.

    It leaves a real mess if something unexpected happens.      My parents were open about money and investments - things were relatively simple when they died.      My wife's parents were very secretive - a total nightmare to sort out and deal with.

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  • in reply to Roswell

    There's a lot of stigma about discussing finances within families - it's a hangover from the Victorians trying to out-do their neighbours - or at least pretend they were.      If everything is secret, you can claim anything to be true.

    It leaves a real mess if something unexpected happens.      My parents were open about money and investments - things were relatively simple when they died.      My wife's parents were very secretive - a total nightmare to sort out and deal with.

Children