Hi all,
So it's only recently been noticed that I'm likely to have ASD/aspergers and not formally diagnosed. I'm still on my journey of discovering who I actually am. I've taken great comfort recently in the idea that I may have ASD as it explains a lot of things that I previously felt were 'wrong' with me.
Here's my question (with background): *Possible trigger - cancer
I've not had a particularly good couple of days as I've found out a work colleague has 3-6 months to live... out of nowhere! So I've been more sensitive to things I think. I had a little panic today because I got too warm when I was washing up! Haha. Tonight I was having a conversation with my OH and he asked me to explain something to him about fractions. Great! I love maths! However, he kept interrupting and then said he wanted to know something else. He ended up raising his voice and said it didn't matter. I said I'd like to know what he wanted to know so I could explain it (I got really caught up on it). He asked me why I needed to know when it no longer mattered to him and I said I didn't know, I couldn't explain why I needed to do it but I couldn't just leave it. This isn't the first time this has happened either. He said that it didn't matter anymore to him. I said it did to me but he kept refusing. I snapped. I screamed "I just need to know" burst into tears, threw my pen and paper down and ran to my bed (my safe place), hid under a weighted blanket and rocked and cried.
I understand that the 'meltdown' (if that's what it was?) was because of a build up of things throughout the day/past few days. What I'm curious about is my NEED to understand something, the need to understand what he means. Is this an aspie/ASD thing? It really bothers me. I hate not understanding and I hate even more that I can't explain why I need to know. I feel so frustrated.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.