High Functioning?

Below is a quote from my ASD assessment report.

The information outlined in this assessment indicates that (me) meets the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – Fifth Edition (DSM-V) criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder, requiring support for deficits in social communication and requiring support for restricted, repetitive behaviours, without accompanying intellectual impairment and without accompanying language impairment (has fluent speech).

This I’m told is High Functioning ASD —> It’s been two days since my assessment (23/10/2020) 

im married, and hold a job in engineering, I manage a small team, and bring home a steady wage,

But I t hit me today, quite hard, this statement reframes so much of what I had considered normal. Or just the way it is.

now I require support (how much?) 

i don’t know what to feel, I’ve read some heart breaking experiences on here of people truly suffering.

i suppose I’m grateful I lead a relatively independent life.

should I feel lucky, that I’m “just” high functioning? like it’s autism lite. 
it doesn’t feel like a fortunate thing. 

Peter

Parents
  • Hi Peter,

    I'm only on preliminary diagnosis but I am also in a job and a relationship (I gave up on a career a long time ago!) Qualified as a biochemist, worked in science for 15 years, broke down, decided I wanted to become a basic level labourer packing internet orders, but still ended up with more responsibility than I could handle!

    I'm also in the position of wishing I had the time to sit and process my new 'fit' into the world, but all I can really think is can anything actually change?  I'm so set in acting NT (I'm 43) I don't see how anyone would help me if I asked, they all assume I'm perfectly competent!!

    It's an odd mix of relief and despair and I guess everyones journey through it is different, but I do feel rather overwhelmed at the moment too - so I feel for you.

Reply
  • Hi Peter,

    I'm only on preliminary diagnosis but I am also in a job and a relationship (I gave up on a career a long time ago!) Qualified as a biochemist, worked in science for 15 years, broke down, decided I wanted to become a basic level labourer packing internet orders, but still ended up with more responsibility than I could handle!

    I'm also in the position of wishing I had the time to sit and process my new 'fit' into the world, but all I can really think is can anything actually change?  I'm so set in acting NT (I'm 43) I don't see how anyone would help me if I asked, they all assume I'm perfectly competent!!

    It's an odd mix of relief and despair and I guess everyones journey through it is different, but I do feel rather overwhelmed at the moment too - so I feel for you.

Children
  • That's a good way of putting it, "so set in acting NT." I'm struggling with that too, and the thing that's helped me most is hanging out with someone on the spectrum in a simialr way to me. I've felt at ease enough with him that a different, more spontaneous, unmasked maybe, version of me emerges. Some of that is translating over into my other interactions. I'm hungry for more, for a full version of me to be present, but at least I've seen a bit of what ideal might look like. I'm trying to be patient and knowit's a journey and i'm going in the right direction.