I've been unhappy living in my flat for 3 or so years now. I moved into it to get away from my parents but I found to my amazement there were people even harder to live in close proximity to. So I've made a firm commitment now. If I don't get offered a good flat swap by next Friday on the council flat/housing association flat tenant swappers' website Homeswapper, I will begin to sell and throw away most my stuff and move back in with my parents.
I'm on a waiting list for a "shared lives" scheme where I could live with a person/family who would provide some care for me. I'm also getting a support to start working for me from Monday though two previous people who began the job for me had to quit because the hours didn't work for them financially.
I think I've come to the conclusion that council and housing association estates are more or less impossible for me to live in now, unless I was offered one perhaps surrounded by only older or disabled people.
When I go back to stay with my parents it can feel claustrophobic. Their house isn't that big and I can often hear people walking on the corridors. The housing situation in the UK is now at such a crisis point that many people have very little choice on where to live. But I will just try to make the best of it. I doubt I ever want my own home again, I realised there are too many annoyances and anxieties to deal with. I'm hoping to lodge a room in the future or ideally live with a partner.
I eat chicken, vegetables and fruit, and olive oil and herbs, and otherwise am avoiding other foods. I long to become thin and having less energy from lower calories so I can walk more slowly when I go outside, and appear less masculine, so other men will leave me alone, which is also part of the reason I'm growing my hair long. One of my biggest worries is whether I can continue to avoid alcohol as boredom so often visits me. But who knows maybe I will attract the woman of my dreams one day soon, then everything would be exciting.
Anyway have a nice weekend, all of you.
