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Where I'm at now

Roswell

I've been unhappy living in my flat for 3 or so years now. I moved into it to get away from my parents but I found to my amazement there were people even harder to live in close proximity to. So I've made a firm commitment now. If I don't get offered a good flat swap by next Friday on the council flat/housing association flat tenant swappers' website Homeswapper, I will begin to sell and throw away most my stuff and move back in with my parents.

I'm on a waiting list for a "shared lives" scheme where I could live with a person/family who would provide some care for me. I'm also getting a support to start working for me from Monday though two previous people who began the job for me had to quit because the hours didn't work for them financially.

I think I've come to the conclusion that council and housing association estates are more or less impossible for me to live in now, unless I was offered one perhaps surrounded by only older or disabled people.

When I go back to stay with my parents it can feel claustrophobic. Their house isn't that big and I can often hear people walking on the corridors. The housing situation in the UK is now at such a crisis point that many people have very little choice on where to live. But I will just try to make the best of it. I doubt I ever want my own home again, I realised there are too many annoyances and anxieties to deal with. I'm hoping to lodge a room in the future or ideally live with a partner.

I eat chicken, vegetables and fruit, and olive oil and herbs, and otherwise am avoiding other foods. I long to become thin and having less energy from lower calories so I can walk more slowly when I go outside, and appear less masculine, so other men will leave me alone, which is also part of the reason I'm growing my hair long. One of my biggest worries is whether I can continue to avoid alcohol as boredom so often visits me. But who knows maybe I will attract the woman of my dreams one day soon, then everything would be exciting.

Anyway have a nice weekend, all of you.

  • Whenever I lived on my own, I was a law onto myself and disrupted my neighbours. I hadn't a Scooby about Social etiquette.

    My brother is looking a place of his own. We are two separate souls, with little in common. The ten-year age gap was too much to deal with.

  • in reply to Roswell

    Nothing like living with the craziness of the outside world to make you realise that the home you know is the lowest-stress option.      Good luck with being able to talk calmly to your parents and get them to understand the intense,  irrational stress we feel that no-one else notices.

  • in reply to Plastic

    Yeah I agree, I think I can live with my parents again. I can explain to my mum, my dad doesn't get it but in any case as you say it's safer and more predictable. 

    My OCD was worse when I moved out of theirs. I've learned to live a bit more with people's messy habits now. Not that either my parents are terrible but my dad leaves dirty water in the sink bowl and my mum makes a mess in the bathroom sometimes with toothpaste. But I can work on being more tolerant. 

    As my diet is simpler, it's also easier sharing the kitchen. 

  • Are you sure you can't go back home?      It's the most predictable place you can get and you can at least ask them to be quiet without getting physically assaulted!   Smiley

    It's also much cheaper than living out.  Smiley

    There's a good chance that the experience of life has made you more able to integrate with your parents and more capable of talking to them about your issues with life / noise / anxiety etc. - you seem very able to explain your position on here so could you do the same to them?.