Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't know if this has any links to my autism, or is an off-shoot because of anxiety, or feelings of being lost sometimes. I'm not suicidal; let me make that clear. What I do is think about death, which is quite different to thinking about suicide.
I'm in my fifties, but even at much earlier ages, I've always thought about things like; should I be buried or cremated, or what song should play at my funeral etc. I think about things like this on a daily basis, but definitely when I'm more anxious and not coping. I get very emotional when I hear about death on the news etc. It's just a subject I can't ignore. The prospect of dying scares me. I also have an empathy with musicians who write songs of that generally sad leaning.
When at work, I will look down the stairwell from the top and whilst I repeat I'm not suicidal, I do think about what it would be like to fall.
Just curious if this fits with anyone else. Apologies for raising this, but felt I needed to express my thoughts.
Hi and welcome. Yes I relate to most of this.
I'm only 23 and I am thinking about death 90% of the time. I do have severe health issues so it's slightly understandable but I have already preplanned my funeral, the service, the music and the cars which will take me to and from. I'm not suicidal either but a lot of the time I do think about walking in front of cars or stabbing myself. Just casual regular thoughts for me.
I don't know if it's asd related though. It might be I'm not really sure.