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High Functioning Problems

ChrisS

Hi all,

I'm a 37 year old high functioning male, really struggling with life atm. On the face of it all looks good. I have a good job, 2 wonderful children and a partner, however I'm a complete shell of a human. I started this mental health journey a few years ago when I felt I was missing some emotions with my children. An ASD diagnosis was so obvious, I can't believe it was new to me but I have, on reflection, a crazy amount of coping mechanisms and strategies that I fooled myself. And as a very lonely only child of a single parent didn't really have any support nor comparisons in youth.

I'm finding that I feel more and more robotic each day. More overwhelmed and totally disconnected from emotion, intimacy and really void of any interests and hobbies.

Does ASD get worse with age? Am I just at the limit of what I can cope with (a relationship, children, work and day to day life)? Am I exhausted - I've read recently about autistic burnout.

I'd love to find some solace in these forums and thank anyone in advance who reads this or could offer advice or insight.

Much love to all,

Chris

Parents

  • Hi Chris.

    Just prior to this message I spent about 25 minutes in a reply and pressed the wrong button and it disappeared so I have to start again wish me luck! arghhh.

    My wife often says I'm unromantic but I've always been like this. I think the best I can do is buy her some flowers just because I've had it drilled into my mind (not literally) and I really don't see the point of buying flowers as its a waste of money and they usually die within a week or two. 

    I would say I'm hardwork for her as she often says I'm a control freak but in my opinion I am just trying to show her more efficient/safer ways of doing things in general. We love each other but we both need time out in the evening usually I will spend hours online gaming whilst she will sit and watch TV. I also often get told to stop shouting or that I'm argumentative but this is quite simply if I am trying to get my point across or opinion or if the person doesn't understand what I mean. I'm one of the nicest people you could meet and very trustworthy as I hate lies.

    I would say with regards to you asking if it gets easier with age is from my life experiences then "yes it does"

    Socially becomes a little easier for me as I get older as I learn from others how they reply to general chit chat. For example when I got my first job in my late teens work colleagues would ask " how are you today " I would reply " I'm okay thanks" but then listen to how others communicate with that question " good thank you, how are you". So rather than just thinking about myself learn to ask the same back to the other person even though im really not interested but trying to come across normal. We call it masking so masking can become easier with age in my opinion.

    I will always say the wrong things from time to time but usually people will laugh even though I'm not meaning it in a joking way. I will aswell say that after being diagnosed you learn a bit more about they way you react/act is because of your ASC. I have HFA Aspergers type. I haven't told many people only close family and a friend or two.

  • in reply to Castle

    Thanks so much for the reply. This really rings some bells for me as there are a lot of similarities in our evening together (next to each other, but me usually with headphones on) and in the way I think I'm being loving by doing things effectively and doing things in an efficient way - I guess because I have shared my time and so that equals sharing and all that! Thank you

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  • in reply to Castle

    Thanks so much for the reply. This really rings some bells for me as there are a lot of similarities in our evening together (next to each other, but me usually with headphones on) and in the way I think I'm being loving by doing things effectively and doing things in an efficient way - I guess because I have shared my time and so that equals sharing and all that! Thank you

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