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High Functioning Problems

ChrisS

Hi all,

I'm a 37 year old high functioning male, really struggling with life atm. On the face of it all looks good. I have a good job, 2 wonderful children and a partner, however I'm a complete shell of a human. I started this mental health journey a few years ago when I felt I was missing some emotions with my children. An ASD diagnosis was so obvious, I can't believe it was new to me but I have, on reflection, a crazy amount of coping mechanisms and strategies that I fooled myself. And as a very lonely only child of a single parent didn't really have any support nor comparisons in youth.

I'm finding that I feel more and more robotic each day. More overwhelmed and totally disconnected from emotion, intimacy and really void of any interests and hobbies.

Does ASD get worse with age? Am I just at the limit of what I can cope with (a relationship, children, work and day to day life)? Am I exhausted - I've read recently about autistic burnout.

I'd love to find some solace in these forums and thank anyone in advance who reads this or could offer advice or insight.

Much love to all,

Chris

Parents

  • Hi Chris, as someone who would very much like to be part of society, I'm hoping that things with ASD (ASC) do not necessarily get worse with age.

    Actually, in my family, I have found some aspects of improvement with age. My dad, I now am pretty sure, has (and has always had) all the telltale signs of autism. Over the last decade or so, thanks partly to retirement and also other factors such as that we are talking more about feelings, he seems to have developed some of the parts of communication that he used to struggle with.

    By this I mean he is actually 'opening up' about things. Previously how he was feeling would spill or 'split' out and it would be negative and pretty much involuntary. With the opening up, it has been his active, personal choice to share things. Plus, the difficulties he's sharing is now being done with compassion and understanding for himself. This would be unheard of until the last decade for him.
       

    One question though, as I have seen a couple of these types of thread recently about does it get worse.

    I've noticed that the lockdown has presented an environment that seems to edge more autism symptoms to come out. It's certainly been the case with me, and I've observed slight nuances of it in friends.

    So, the question is, do you feel that the lockdown period this year might be a factor in why you feel more robotic at the moment?

    Or, is this a trend that had begun since significantly before 2020, say?

    Welcome to the forum and thanks for an interesting question.

Reply

  • Hi Chris, as someone who would very much like to be part of society, I'm hoping that things with ASD (ASC) do not necessarily get worse with age.

    Actually, in my family, I have found some aspects of improvement with age. My dad, I now am pretty sure, has (and has always had) all the telltale signs of autism. Over the last decade or so, thanks partly to retirement and also other factors such as that we are talking more about feelings, he seems to have developed some of the parts of communication that he used to struggle with.

    By this I mean he is actually 'opening up' about things. Previously how he was feeling would spill or 'split' out and it would be negative and pretty much involuntary. With the opening up, it has been his active, personal choice to share things. Plus, the difficulties he's sharing is now being done with compassion and understanding for himself. This would be unheard of until the last decade for him.
       

    One question though, as I have seen a couple of these types of thread recently about does it get worse.

    I've noticed that the lockdown has presented an environment that seems to edge more autism symptoms to come out. It's certainly been the case with me, and I've observed slight nuances of it in friends.

    So, the question is, do you feel that the lockdown period this year might be a factor in why you feel more robotic at the moment?

    Or, is this a trend that had begun since significantly before 2020, say?

    Welcome to the forum and thanks for an interesting question.

Children
  • in reply to calmerchameleon

    Thanks for the reply - do you feel your dad feels more at ease with less absorbing his brain since retirement? I really feel that space is so tight and can imagine removing work from that space opens it for something else, something more thoughtful perhaps?

    I think the lockdown, initially, was great and simplified things removing a commute and having the schedule changed under such circurmstances was fine for me as it wasn't a decision I could make it was just done. The longer it has gone on the harder I have found things - to find time, space and peace and quiet seems so much harder and the stagnation of day in day out with variation is tough.

    How have you found lockdown?

    Thanks for the welcome :D