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Is this an example of a shut down?

Deleted User

Not to go into details but today there have been some let's say, miscommunications between my partner and I.  I have noticed this has happened quite a few times recently. We were in the car park at the time.

After it happened we had to go to customer services in a shop for something so were "back to normal" but then we got bsck in the car I just went really quiet. I felt sick. My head felt funny. 

It was like when you get bad news and you can't concentrate and feel weird in the stomach.  That's how I felt. This is completely disproportionate to what had happened. I haven't been able to get past this feeling all night.

We got home and my partner knew I wasn't right. He came in to give me a hug but I didn't want it but took it anyway.  He thought it was one of my anxiety episodes. It wasn't.  He wasn't aware of what had set it off.

I went to do a workout to make me feel better but it didn't and I ended up crying.

I was trying to work out my emotions after that. I think cos this thing had happened a few times recently I just felt like giving up when it happened and thought what's the point. I didn't want to talk about things because I couldn't concentrate for the feeling in my head as described above. Also, I wasn't sure how to explain myself and wouldn't do myself justice so I would end up appeasing in the situation (it's usually me which ends up apologising often because I don't fully understand the situation).

I have been quiet all night.  I feel like its made me go mute. I think it's more the feeling in my head which has caused this rather than the actual situation itself. Like I have not wanted to talk or do anything and I have found it hard to concentrate on anything because of this feeling in my head. I feel like I have just shut down and its all going on internally. Yes the situation has cheesed me off but I'm not sulking. It's like I can't form words or thoughts properly.

Then I thought could this be a shut down. I don't know. I woukd be grateful for any insights.

Parents

  • More like overload - too many inputs left unresolved and needing extensive processing to make sense of - so you separate yourself and let it all churn around in your head until the stress level drops to an acceptable level.        It's a good time to stim or do a hobby - as rude as that might seem at the time - to be able to concentrate on something soothing and controllable - it has the ability to push all the turmoil sideways out of your mind until it doesn't bother you any more.

  • in reply to Plastic

    Thank you for your reply. What do you think the difference is between overload and shut down? I tried to read my book about a subject I'm really enjoying (I think it could be classed as an interest) but I just couldn't concentrate for the feeling in my head. It was more that than the situation itself which caused the problem last night.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I think overload would lead to meltdown or shutdown eventually - when you aren't able to stop the unwanted inputs or separate yourself away from them.    Adding more to the overload would cause something to give - meltdown is most easily observed - crying, flapping etc. but a shutdown is just the same but internalised.       I tend to go that route - I can't process any more so I stop functioning and go mute.      Unfortunately, in a work environment, it is taken as capitulation and agreement with the situation so it's not very helpful.       I go into an autopilot mode where I would get myself home and it might take a few days to process what's actually happening for me.

    Internalising stress is bad - it caused me to develop a stress-related immuno-disorder.

  • in reply to Plastic

    The "panic" episodes come out of the blue. I think it has been a slow drip effect over a few years to the point where it all overflowed. I think I didon't notice the dripping and didn't pay attention to it.

    I don't know how I'd cope in your situation at work as it's never happened yo me to that extent. I think everyone has their ways of coping. Separating yourself from the situation and re-configurating sounds like a good way. (I think others would just kick off...) For me I think I cry when I don't know how to deal with emotions.

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  • in reply to Plastic

    The "panic" episodes come out of the blue. I think it has been a slow drip effect over a few years to the point where it all overflowed. I think I didon't notice the dripping and didn't pay attention to it.

    I don't know how I'd cope in your situation at work as it's never happened yo me to that extent. I think everyone has their ways of coping. Separating yourself from the situation and re-configurating sounds like a good way. (I think others would just kick off...) For me I think I cry when I don't know how to deal with emotions.

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