Hi everyone
I am the longstanding partner of a man nearing his 70s who has just been diagnosed with high performing ASD. His behaviours have been very difficult for me to deal with and a great number of times I have felt that I cannot live with this any longer.
We are getting counselling from an amazing counsellor who himself is on the ASD spectrum and I highly value his insight. I have listed a number of behaviours which I have suffered at the hands of my partner over the past 31 years and he has frequently confirmed that these are behaviours typical of people affected by ASD.
Thus for 31 years I have raised five children, three of whom were his with his late wife's, unknowing that the difficulties I was experiencing were significantly due to typical ASD behaviours.
Unfortunately my partner who is now 68 is claiming that it is too late for him to change and that I have to take it or leave it with his behaviours which have included domestic violence even before Covid. I have nowhere else to go. My parents are long gone, and I have no brothers or sisters. My (own) daughter is fed up with hearing my complaints about her father even though she is married to a lovely husband who himself is on the ASD spectrum but has grown up with this and has grown into a lovely husband and father to their child.
When I met him he was recently widowed and I put a lot of the problems down to this. He was however from the outset unable to deal with his own 3 children's bereavement and this also fell on my shoulders, along with their upbringing (whilst I worked full time and did qualifications), difficult teenage, and al of llife's problems. I have supported them as well as their partners emotionally for 31 years but it is my partner who is seen as Mr Perfect as his unreasonable behaviours personal to him are addressed uniquely to me.
My question is what to do as I can't go on any longer. I acnnot get through a day without him arguing with my opinion, my observations. I keep in touch with friends/family on Facebook as meeting them face to face is no longer possible due to his behaviour, and I was accused of infidelity just because of reading posts on Facebook.
I am accused of "never wanting it to work" after 31 years of abject misery in this relationship.
I simply cannot go on like this any longer and I am at my wits' end as to what to do. I'm very very sorry to burden anyone reading this with my problems.
