Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I'm Matthew,
My gran is very sick at the moment and will be gone in a few days sadly, my dad is going to say goodbye today.
I'm very worried about the funeral because I've never been to one before and usually when I go out to places it causes me to get very hot and I usually pass out. I'm in two minds about whether to go or not. In the past when talking about funerals my gran said she would love for me to go to hers but she understood if I couldn't do it. I don't know what to do. I want to be there, say goodbye and support my dad and mum but I'm not sure if mentally I am up to it. I do know what to do.
Living in Manchester U.K. 22 years and having family in Rural Ireland, I know from experience that Irish Catholic funerals are very well attended in Rural Ireland, even when my Mum died in 2009 and my Dad died in 2018 - many Irish people dying here in the U.K. before Covid who want to be buried in Ireland were usually brought over on the Ferries via Holyhead to Dublin in hearses and many Irish funeral directors prefer this way rather than air cargo at airports - what surprised me was the huge numbers of people at the removal, at the Mass, assisted by the local Gardai (police) and the burial - the stressful part for me was having to travel from the U.K. to Ireland at short notice and taking time off work, having to ring work to take a week off to sort things out, especially legal stuff with my Dad’s funeral
Not even compassionate leave?
With my Mum’s funeral the management at the supermarket I worked for at the time in 2009 deeply resented having to give me time off and hinted to other members of staff that I had made it all up just to get time off and got them to put all sorts of abusive and insulting comments on social media by people from work who were so called friends - when I came back and read this stuff online, I took snapshots and reported this to the company, who promptly took disciplinary action against me for attempting to raise this issue, for having social media accounts while working for the company, and for taking unauthorised time off despite my notifying them in advance as per their attendance policies