Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m finding life really hard and feel like it’s all going to be over soon. I spoke to some Samaritans woman and she wasn’t much help. I’m depressed and I feel like there’s nothing I can do to come out of it on the other side. My whole life I’ve had set back after set back no matter how hard I tried everything went wrong and now I’m approaching my 20’s and I have no job, no friends, no home I have nothing. Last year I made myself a promise that if life hadn’t improved even a little by July 1st then that would be it, no more. As I suspected then my death date is almost here and I’ve taken no steps forward. Aspergers made life hard to start with but then leaving school everything around me fell to pieces. Parents are gone. I feel so alone. I need to speak to someone with Aspergers, someone who understands me because no one outside of the spectrum does or will. I’m nearly done because life is just one big headache for me. I’m hoping someone can help me.
Hello Candyfloss. Really sorry to hear that. Some Samaritans are better at understanding than others. It's difficult in your late teens when there's so much pressure, but things get easier after that (and as someone in middle age I can say keep getting better, partly because things turn out better than expected and partly because the pressure is off). . Can I ask what happened to your parents?
Besides this forum, there are local groups for Aspie self-support, mostly meeting online at the moment of course - have you checked the NAS directory for your area? Also, because it sounds like you're having suicidal thoughts, you should check things out with your GP, or if urgent, take yourself to A&E. Depression is not a necessary part of being autistic.
People here understand the frustrations of being misunderstood, ignored and overlooked. What is your biggest frustration now? Are you at college, or able to go?