Gender

I’m suffering from Gender Dysphoria, meaning I’m transgender which along with the Aspergers Syndrome is causing me so much grief it’s causing me terrible depression. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and I don’t know what to do about it. There’s no way out of this predicament for me. If I were to become a girl it would cause my family to fall apart and if I stay as I am I’ll forever feel miserable and hate myself. I can’t help the way I feel but there’s no good solution. I’ve read before online that it’s common for people with Aspergers to have Gender Dysphoria as well. But it’s also a pain. Transgender people are despised by so many people, including the majority of my family. I’ve heard my family say before why can’t transgender people just be happy as they are. But it really isn’t that simple. It’s impossible. I’ve been feeling like this since I was seven, and it’s at breaking point now. I feel so alone and suicidal. I need help, to speak to somebody but I have no one to speak with that will understand my situation and how I feel before it’s too late. I’ve been thinking about how to end my life and how much better it would be if I wasn’t here. But inside, I feel so alive and have thought of a name, a different life, and it’s so sad because it’s a life that is forbidden and I could never feasibly have. I just wish I could have been normal and had a roughly straightforward life because this is a living nightmare and now I feel like it’s coming to a crashing end. I just want to be happy and understand everything but I understand nothing and am so puzzled with myself and life I don’t know where to go from here.

Parents
  • terrible depression
    I feel so alone and suicidal
    feel miserable and hate myself

    I can't and shouldn't guess how much of that is gender dysphoria, and how much from other things like an oppressive environment or isolation, but the depression is something you should look at in any case. Have you had any general counselling or CBT? The GP is the best starting point both for depression (general dysphoria) and gender dysphoria.

    I have trans friends and trans autistic friends, and while they are happier after transitioning, it's a long way from solving all their problems. I just happened to be watching a rather good lecture by Tony Attwood and he injects a note of caution about reasons for wanting to change to a different gender (30 mins in):

Reply
  • terrible depression
    I feel so alone and suicidal
    feel miserable and hate myself

    I can't and shouldn't guess how much of that is gender dysphoria, and how much from other things like an oppressive environment or isolation, but the depression is something you should look at in any case. Have you had any general counselling or CBT? The GP is the best starting point both for depression (general dysphoria) and gender dysphoria.

    I have trans friends and trans autistic friends, and while they are happier after transitioning, it's a long way from solving all their problems. I just happened to be watching a rather good lecture by Tony Attwood and he injects a note of caution about reasons for wanting to change to a different gender (30 mins in):

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