Do you agree with these statements?

ssssssssssssh dont tell them :)

Roswell

At least we know what's wrong with us. Most Normies are one first-world-problem away from losing it altogether.

Roswell said:

People who live in society have learnt how to see themselves, in mirrors, as they appear to their friends. I have no friends: is that why my flesh is so naked?

You wrote a lovely poem. Thank you for that

I don't think people see in mirror what their friends see. I think it helps autistic people to trust themselves and believe in themselves. What you see in the mirror is what you get :). You know so much more about yourself than the mirror.

I don't know whether I have friends.

Hi Roswell

I read your posts and can feel your pain.    Unfortunately, being aspie, I'm really poor at offering the 'support' phase of trying to help - I short cut directly to the 'find a solution' phase - but I'm aware people need time to process the support phase.

I may be premature in asking, but are you able to think clearly enough (with all the stress in your life) to be able to put a plan in place for getting what you want in life?          Clean sheet of paper stuff.     Forget the situation you're in and create a real, practical solution that gives you what you need rather than concentrating on where you are and all the problems around that.    Seeing an insurmountable problems is very disabling - it saps all your ability to move forward.

Are you realistic about what you want from friends - and where to find more compatible friends?        For example - I'm a mega-nerd but I go along to Meetups just for a change of faces - I'm not really compatible with many of them but some are nice, gentle people who don't make demands and we can chat about easy things - just something different to break the intense train of thoughts.    They find me easy to talk to because I can't play games - what you see is what you get - but I'm aware that others want more - more than I can or want to give.

What activities would you like to enjoy being with people?    I know a lot of aspies into fishing - semi-solitary, peaceful, quiet, in touch with nature etc.    I do model boats - I'm pretty sure they are all undiagnosed aspies - the conversation is negligible unless it's about boats.       What's your thing?

We should feel no obligation to all think the same, neither should we feel some obligation to all be contrary. What is this language we communicate in? Does it bind us, somebody? Are the words you're currently reading being read in the present, the future or the past? Did you compute this thought or did I? If we are separate then why do we feel so close to one another? And yet, so far apart too. 

The ramblings of a mad man are to society just madness, but to the madman are proportionally representative.

Isolation becomes me Cassandro. I try to escape it and it darts and jumps in front of me. I'm in the way. I'm in the way anywhere. If I go to the GP I'm in the way of their medical methods. I'm in the way of the patients in the waiting room who have small talk to do. I'm in the way of people's routine and happiness by asserting what I want to be. I love a woman and if she will love me back then I have found all the help I need but if she will not then I am professionally a lost cause. Because I'm in the way of professionalism and university academia. I'm in the way of a mortgage, a car and two children, and of meritocracy. I can't be neatly fitted into the system, I'm in the way of its functioning.

I am sorry that is longer than I thought it was.  The font for writing is smaller than the one for reading.

Roswell said:

I am alone in the midst of these happy, reasonable voices. All these creatures spend their time explaining, realizing happily that they agree with each other. In Heaven's name, why is it so important to think the same things all together. 

I think you are suggesting that it is not important to think the same things all together, otherwise you would not have asked a rhetorical question.  Is that correct?

In that case, if we say we agree with what you explained then, by our actions, we are saying it is important to agree.  If we say we disagree then, by disavowing your explanation, we are saying that is important to agree.

Obviously if you are not expressing a sentiment on the matter then it would be impossible to either agree or disagree with a statement that is a question.

I always thought I did not have the tradition trait of understand things literally as I could understand idioms and metaphors in their intended context.  I suppose I see them as [overly long] compound words rather than separate ones to be interpreted individually.  But one reason I like puns (ones that can be read in two different ways rather than simply "hiding" a word based on how similar it sounds to another) is that I usually take both meanings then have to process the ambiguity.

Something else made me realise I do have this trait in some ways, and so now I think processing puns in that way, being confronted with the ambiguity first, is a form of taking things literally too.  Even on those questionnaires which you have to complete before an autism assessment I could not complete some of them.  The ambiguity made them impossible for me to even attempt to answer, whilst for some others I wrote a page of explanations for the contexts of my answers.  Yet somehow they still thought I was autistic!

That way, though, is how I read your statement.  So maybe I am just reading it too literally and you meant something else?

Roswell said:

I am alone in the midst of these happy, reasonable voices. All these creatures spend their time explaining, realizing happily that they agree with each other. In Heaven's name, why is it so important to think the same things all together.

Yes. Used to be more so. Nowadays I find there are people I can agree with, and that many  people aren't as happy as we imagine but are well-intentioned, and I also understand that groupthink is necessary for certain social constructs (like law or money or religion) to work. I still find that often when I express things as I see them, hardly anyone agrees or even understands.

Roswell said:

I want to leave, to go somewhere where I should be really in my place, where I would fit in . . . but my place is nowhere; I am unwanted.

Yes, that would be nice. Usually wanted to escape the positions I've found myself in, whether family or university or work. No one comes along and works out where I would fit in. I just make my own place for the moment, limited as it is.

Roswell said:

I suppose it is out of laziness that the world is the same day after day. Today it seemed to want to change. And then anything, anything could happen.

Not sure I understand this one. The world has a lot that could change for the better, but seems to go around in circles instead. My personal world doesn't change much, and that's from inertia. I think I'd like the change.

Roswell said:

I am. I am, I exist, I think, therefore I am; I am because I think, why do I think? I don't want to think any more, I am because I think that I don't want to be, I think that I . . . because . . . ugh!

I've felt like this before. I am not my thoughts, though. People here have expressed a desire to be able to turn off their thoughts. 

Roswell said:

People who live in society have learnt how to see themselves, in mirrors, as they appear to their friends. I have no friends: is that why my flesh is so naked?

Humans are social animals, including autistic humans, just in a different way. In a way, human minds are given shape by our interactions with other humans. Without being with people, things lose meaning and we also have nothing to either conform to or rebel against. There's probably a bit of a divergence even with friends: we might have secrets from them or not feel able to express ourselves properly. I do have friends, although it would be better for me to communicate with them more.

Are you (feeling) isolated, Roswell? Anything to do about that? Any professional help available?