Autistic boyfriend can’t keep a job - any advise would help

Hi All,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years he has Autism and I’m a NT . We have always had ups and downs and he has always been in and out of work he has just started a new job (1 week in) and already wants to quit. I struggle with reacting in a sympathetic way. I worry about the money side of things - I don’t make enough to cover all our outgoings. So this is my first reaction. He doesn’t think I’m being supportive enough but I’m too worried about money.

Im at a loss of how to feel. I want him to be happy and have a job he loves but I also need him to make enough money to support himself. we talk about having a family one day and I just don’t see how that is possibly. 

I’m not really sure what I’m asking or who will see this. Any advise would be helpful. 

thanks x

Parents
  • Plastic as ever has the low down. ;)

    I have ASD and didnt really know for a lot of years.  I've had a lot of jobs, longest i've ever stayed was 3 years, long ago in an IT job back in the 90s.  I stayed so long because my office was in the server room in the basement and people left me alone to do it.  I explained to my boss on day one that I didnt really do people and had gotten a job where by I specifically didnt have to interact with people on a regular basis.  in return for people not bothering me aas much as possible, I would work hard and keep the servers online and the establishment running.  For 3 years it was absolutely brilliant.  After that they moved me into an office full of people.  I quit.  They tried to rehire me for the old job after my replacement killed the servers overnight, but I have a self rule that i only work at a company only once in my lifetime.  If they burn me for some reason, then thats it.  I move on.

    I then worked as roadie, forklift driver, courier, in a supermarket, at Roddhas cream in Cornwall (avoid at all costs) and my average job retention is about 3 months.  I do things, get bored, move on, rinse, repeat.  I also probably have ADHD which im waiting for a diagnosis on.  That may help a little with the boredom bit and lack of motivation and drive, or at least the meds I will get for it will.  I know several people with ASD that have never had a job, several more that have worked for big institutions like the BBC but never really made a lot of money.  Only one person I know who has ASD ever made any real money.  He started a cleaning company and sold it three years later for a 7 figure sum.  He was doing hazmat level cleaning of morgues and other medical facilities.  Made a ton of money doing it.  He is one out of seven.  If you want your boyfriend to have a more permanent job then has the best suggestion.  He needs to start his own business, which would then allow him to manage his own project(s).

Reply
  • Plastic as ever has the low down. ;)

    I have ASD and didnt really know for a lot of years.  I've had a lot of jobs, longest i've ever stayed was 3 years, long ago in an IT job back in the 90s.  I stayed so long because my office was in the server room in the basement and people left me alone to do it.  I explained to my boss on day one that I didnt really do people and had gotten a job where by I specifically didnt have to interact with people on a regular basis.  in return for people not bothering me aas much as possible, I would work hard and keep the servers online and the establishment running.  For 3 years it was absolutely brilliant.  After that they moved me into an office full of people.  I quit.  They tried to rehire me for the old job after my replacement killed the servers overnight, but I have a self rule that i only work at a company only once in my lifetime.  If they burn me for some reason, then thats it.  I move on.

    I then worked as roadie, forklift driver, courier, in a supermarket, at Roddhas cream in Cornwall (avoid at all costs) and my average job retention is about 3 months.  I do things, get bored, move on, rinse, repeat.  I also probably have ADHD which im waiting for a diagnosis on.  That may help a little with the boredom bit and lack of motivation and drive, or at least the meds I will get for it will.  I know several people with ASD that have never had a job, several more that have worked for big institutions like the BBC but never really made a lot of money.  Only one person I know who has ASD ever made any real money.  He started a cleaning company and sold it three years later for a 7 figure sum.  He was doing hazmat level cleaning of morgues and other medical facilities.  Made a ton of money doing it.  He is one out of seven.  If you want your boyfriend to have a more permanent job then has the best suggestion.  He needs to start his own business, which would then allow him to manage his own project(s).

Children
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